Gunfighter: A Modern Warrior's Life

The Story of 17 years of Marriage

Today is my wedding anniversary.

Seventeen years ago, today, Mrs Gunfighter and I tied the knot about 15 feet from where I am typing this. Our house tells the story of our marriage, and it is one worth reading.

The first chapter begins six weeks before the wedding, when we moved into this new place with it's white walls and slight smell of new paint and drywall dust. Over the next several months it became a home instead of a house with the addition of furniture and cookware.

The story moves on to being a place full of music and stacks of books that overflowed from our shelves (this part of the story continues to this day, despite the quadrupling of our shelf space and our efforts to donate books to the local library). Later chapters will speak of dancing in the family room while listening to a radio show dedicated to the disco years that we both remembered.

Other chapters will be filled with stories of rescued greyhounds, and the happiness we shared with them and through them. You could also read about the expansion of our family, not only through the adoption of dogs, but of the birth of SoccerGirl. That is a story in itself, but one I have told many times.

The story told in this house will include the discovery of new interests and new music. In these pages you will read about Bossa Nova; Frank Sinatra; Tuck & Patti; Nina Simone; Mel Torme; Peder Eide and an incredible host of others that have made us happy or kept us company.

Still later, our house becomes the home of local political activists; of a couple that has strong careers; and of parents dedicated to raising a wonderful, loving, talented, studious, multifaceted child. A family active in fitness, sports, and the church.

The most recent chapters of this little story will tell of the arrival of middle age... of small aches once laughed off that are now serious concerns. They will tell about respect, hard work, and more music and MORE books... because despite constant change, some things never change.

This story isn't a fairy tale. It isn't without loss, grief, discord or pain. The thing to remember is that loss, pain, grief, and discord are things to work past because all of the other things are what are important.

The story of this house has been and continues to be about love and family and faith and joy.

I can't wait to read the rest.

****This story is dedicated to Susan and Olivia (and Crystal, and Duncan, Zoom, & Charlie), without whom this house would just be a collection of walls.

Where Have I been? (with addendum)

So... I haven't been around for a while.   Let me tell you why.

The first five months have been painful for me.  Not physically, although there has been some of that, but not enough for me to bother writing about, as physical pain and I are old comrades.  No, I am talking about emotional pain.

My mother died on February 5th.

Remember when I told you, last year that my mother had been declared cancer-free, for the second time?  Maybe I didn't tell you... honestly, I don't really remember.  Anyway, after beating cancer last year, she had the bad fortune to take a nasty fall in the kitchen of her home.  Of course, being a pretty tough old bird, she didn't bother to tell anyone for a couple of weeks... so when she went to the hospital with her friend who was later to be diagnosed with stomach cancer, she passed out.  She was checked out and MRI'ed and X-rayed and massive bleeding on the brain was found.  You know the drill from here, right?  She had surgery, there was lots of clotting, she started having strokes and seizures.  She was in a lot of pain.  After nearly three weeks, the Doctors induced a coma, hoping it would allow her to stabilize with less of the pain she was obviously in.  She died less than 12 hours later.

I went ot the funeral, of course, though I didn't want to... it was horrible.  Oh, there were mourners... neighbors and old faces from my childhood that I haven't seen in 30 years.  There were also siblings that I really had no interest in seeing.   I drove to New Jersey that morning, and then went back to Virginia that afternoon.  I got back in time to go to my Confirmation class.  The other teachers had it covered for me, so I went home with the Joe's Special that I had gotten from the best pizza place on the planet.

 
This is Joe's Pizzeria.  I lived within a 5 minute walk from this place from age five, until I enlisted at age 17.  This place still has the pizza most beloved by almighty God.  No, I'm not exagerrating.  Have a Joe's special and you will know what I mean.

 

Anyway, a month (to the day) after my mother died, my father in law died.  We went to his memorial service (a month after he died) in Milwaukee, Wisc., in April... and wouldn't you know it... it snowed.  No, really.  It freakin' snowed!

 

 
(Seriously... does it look like I am happy about any of this?)

So, we get back from Wisconsin, and a week later I am in Princeton, New Jersey to spend most of a week at the Princeton Theological Seminary.  Why?, you ask?, because I have enrolled in the Certificate Program for Youth & Theology.  We had a three day forum on youth ministry and then our cohort for the certification program met or the first time. 

It was incredible. Trust me.  I'll talk more about it some other time, when I have the words.  I wouldn't really have brought it up in the first place, except that my presence there bears on the subject of this post.  The day before the retreat ended, I found out that a colleague of mine, a two-tour veteran of the Iraq war... a man who had been treated for PTSD, killed himself... on his father's birthday... two days before his sister's wedding...  using the gun I trained him with and issued to him.

Nice, right?

I suppose I have to see the divine in this as best I can.  I was in a place where I was in a tightly-knit group of people who were able to help me get through it.  I recieved a great amount of prayer and support from my new friends, and some really  great advice from a new partner in ministry and pal that has allowed me to process all of this.

 
(This is Stuart Hall)

The first several months of this year haven't been kind to me... or maybe they have... I don't know.  There is a lot going on in my head right now.  I suppose I'l have to get back to you.

Oh, and I'm not sleeping well, which is why I am posting this at nearly one A.M. on a Tuesday night/Wednesday morning.

OK, enough crying in my beer... I have to go to sleep.  I have to teach a class on response to the active shooter tomorrow, when all I really want to do is cover my head with a pillow and take a long nap.

Oh... lastly, my mother's friend... the one she went to the hospital with? he died, too, a few days after my father in law's funeral.

 

Peace be with you.

 

Wait.  Sorry... I read this after I posted it, and it sounded rather morose.  Let me end on a high note by adding that lots of good things have happened since the beginning of the year. 

I already told you about my time at Princeton, which was an amazing and unexpected blessing.... let me tell you that I also lead a youth group from my church to a weekend-long event in Maryland; several babies were Baptized at our church, the most recent of which was just this past week.  I have been named Confirmation Coordinator at my church; I have read many new books; I have touched, and been touched by others.  I remain well-loved despite the fact that I'm probably not worthy... and I have cooked some really fantastic food.

Good night, Seattle!

 

 

Scenes From My Life (again)

 Yes, I know that I said that I was quitting... and I am certain that I still am (I think), but I think that I am going to have to wait for just a little while longer.  I hope that the three of you don't mind.  So with that said, may I share some photos with you?

 
            This handsome chap is Charlie... but you knew that, right?

 

 
              Doesn't he look dashing in his alma mater's sweater?

 

 
That's my boy... just bursting with school pride.  No, really... he is a   graduate of the explosive detection dog school at Auburn U.

 

 
This was the first time that I had ever seen a tattoo shop in a mall.  This shop is located in the Florida Mall, in Orlando.

 

 
Can you believe that this child is dressed like this in Orlando?  True enough... it was Christmas Day, 2010 (or maybe the day after).

 

                            Don't hate... Y'all know it's true!

 

 
                              Our vacation Christmas Tree!

 

 
                      Have you ever seen a pink hippopotamus?

 

 
I wouldn't have one on my lawn... even plastic, but I think that Flamingos are cool.

 

 
                     Soccer Girl taking pictures of a Gull at Epcot!

 

There, wasn't that fun?  Well, it was for me, now excuse me, I am going to do some cooking... maybe you'll get some pictures of that.

 

 

...and I am telling you, "I'm Not Going" (yet)

Hi.

You're probably wondering why I am still here, since I told you last month that I was retiring my blog as of today.  Well, there is an answer to that question, and here it is:  Just yesterday, I received a solicitation from a publisher to review a book that I think is going to be super-cool, so when they send me the book, I will give it a read, and tell you what I think.

In the meantime, lemme tell you about my morning. 

Mrs. GF had to dash off to Boston today for a conference, so we all had to head to National Airport VERY early for her to make the 0630 flight..  It was a fast ride up I-95 because the traffic hadn't gotten terribly heavy.  So, we got to the airport, made the drop-off and Soccer Girl and I headed for home.  Instead of taking the usual route back through Crystal City, and around the Pentagon to 395 south, we took the George Washington Parkway towards DC!  Bypassing the northbound on-ramp, we took the south-bound ramp and entered 395 approximately two hundred yards from where we would have entered had we gone through Crystal City and it's myriad stop lights!

Sure, what I said just now won't mean anything to those of you who don't habla the DC traffic, but let me tell you that I probably saved 8 to 10 minutes by going that route.

"Big deal" you say?, well it is to me.  What? You didn't know that I was the King of "making good time"?  Well, there it is... this is my confession (with absolutely NO apologies to Usher).

SG and I got home in great time and were back at the house by 0600, whereupon I made breakfast for my sad child (she misses mommy when she travels) and she had plenty of down-time until we left for school at 8.

On the way to school, I had to make a stop at the post office in order to carry out the instructions that Mrs. GF and SG had given me so I could mail out the bills... by the time we arrived at the post office (0810), Mrs. GF was calling us to say that she had not only already gotten to Boston, but had made it to her hotel!  Well-done, madame!, well-done!

So, after I dropped SG at school, I dashed back up 95 to work, just in time to attend a meeting, clean my beloved M-4, and post this to my blog.  Now, you are going to have to pardon me as I take my leave in order to get my new uniform trousers hemmed and then vacuum the dog hair out of my car.

 

Peace Be With You!

GF

More Scenes From My Life!

 
What we  have been up to for the past week or so.

 
Charlie was busy watching the Christmas tree being decorated.  As you can see, he was no great help.

 
As you may have heard, we had snow in Virginia last week.  It wasn't much of a storm, but winter stupidity reared it's hed once again.  Seriously dude, you couldn't take thirty seconds to clean off the rear window?

 
Mrs. Gunfighter & Soccer Girl on the beach last night, on St. Simons Island, Ga.  Aren't they beautiful?

We are leaving in a few minutes, to finish our drive to Orlando (after another walk on the beach)... See you soon!

 

 

 

Scenes From My Life (with pictures!)

Because everyone is a show-off at heart, right?

In 1291, despite a hard-fought defense, the Knights of St. John (the Hospitallers) were defeated in the siege of Acre.  The city of Acre (ah-cray) was the last stronghold of the Crusader Kingdom of Jerusalem.  Losing Acre was the true beginning of the end for the Christian Crusades even though the fighting would continue spasmodically for nearly 300 years more.  I had once considered getting this scene tattooed on my body, but it would need to be exceptionally large to shoe the necessary detail.  It remains a favorite illustration of mine. 

 

 
This is a picture of me when I was 24 years old.  I was stationed at the MArine Barracks in Washington, DC.  Apparently one of my Marine buddies has been holding on to it ever since (thanks, Matt!) .  He sent it to me via facebook a few weeks ago.  I don't suppose I need to tell you what we were all up to that day.  Look at me.  I was young!

 

 
Fast forward to last Wednesday.  This picture was taken during and Active Shooter training exercise, about two miles away from where the previous picture was taken.

 

 
Another view.  I had some time to kill while the boss was doing a de-brief.

 

 
This is an honest-to-God picture of a chicken crossing a road.  It was taken with my Blackberry in Bridgewater, Virginia, near my daughter's Girl Scout Camp this summer.

 

 
This is Saint Paul Lutheran Church, in Mount Solon, Virginia.  This little tiny church is off of what passes for the beaten track in a beautiful wooded area not far from my daughter's camp, and only about 2 hours from Washingtn, DC.

 

 
This isn't really a surprise in rural Virginia, but I thought I would show you what some peope still feel. 

So there you are, a few scenes from my life to show you on a Sunday morning as I wait for Mrs GF and Soccergirl to finish getting ready for church.  Mrs. GF is doing something to her hair (which she got cut yesterday), and Soccergirl is in the shower singing Kelly Clarkson's "My life would suck without you"

 

See y'all tomorrow... I have a book review to do, followed by an interview!

Aloha!

 

Reflections On Turning 47

Usually, when my birthday rolls around, I write some pithy thing or another to talk about my past year, my experiences and some revealed wisdom.  I have been doing this for eleven years, either on blogs or at a web bulletin board I used to frequent.

 

When I got out of bed this morning, I was thinking about what to write this year.  I was trying to filter through everything that I have been through since last December… sort of a figure-out-where-I-was-and-how-I-arrived-here sort of thing.  That was at 0500.   It is 0730 (finishing at 0940… damned job!) as I type this, and my answers are long in coming.

 

I thin that I should simply say this:  I have had a pretty good year.  I got a promotion on my last birthday; I bought a new car; I have written a few things that were either interesting, thought provoking, or even just plain funny.  Oh, and I have memorized the order of all 66 books of the Bible… which was a lot easier than I thought it would be (shout out to Debbie at Faith Inkubators).  I have cooked really good food, and I have taught some people things that may prove valuable to them; I even figured out what I am going to do when I hang up my guns (literally) and retire.  I have been, on the whole, good to people, and haven’t intentionally hurt anyone.  I have served others, and have had many kindnesses shown to me.  I am continuing to grow into the person that I am going be, and I think that it is good.  Yeah, it has been a pretty good year.

 

So, Happy Birthday to me! 

 

You can email me and I will tell you where you can send my presents.

Retiring My Blogs

My life is changing in ways (all good) that I wouldn't have imagined when I started blogging five years ago.  To be sure, I'm not the same person that I was when I started all of this.  For me, writing has been a transformative thing, even though all I wanted to do when I started this was to share some of my random thoughts with others.

When I started my blog, I had no idea that there were actual things like blogging "communities"... I had know idea what a blogging community was until I found myself a member of more than one.  In the past five years, I have been welcome in the community of lesbian bloggers, mommy bloggers, dad bloggers, Progressive bloggers, political activist women bloggers, and well, too many to name, but you get my point.  My thoughts found like-minded people, and those people made me feel at home.

My blogging has also led me to some things that I never expected:People started soliciting my opinion on books, soap, athletic shoes, books, sunscreen, books, and books.  As much as it was fun to review products, I had the most fun reviewing books, even books for which I had not been solicited.

For me, blogging became therapeutic, and sometimes even cathartic, it has also been helpful to some, judging by some of the comments and email that I recieved after one post or another had touched someone.

Blogging was fun, but as in all things, there comes a time to call it quits.  So, it is time for my "Gunfighter" persona to retire, as I move on to what comes next for me. 

I will be closing this blog effective January 4th, 2011

My friend Becky has always encouraged people to be authentic in their blogging, and I think that I have been that.  I have given you my thoughts.... sometimes random, sometimes pointed, sometimes funny, but always truthful and from my heart.  I appreciate the fact that some of you have been listening.

As much as this sounds like an acceptance speech at one of the numerous awards shows that I enjoy, I would like to take a moment to acknowledge some people that have been on this ride with me, but it would take too long, and undoubtedly, someone would start playing music to hustle me off the stage, so I will say only the following:  For all of the people who were so good as to read and comment at my blog(s), I give heartfelt thanks.  For those of you who actually became buddies and even friends, I likewise give you thanks, as our association continues to be a blessing to me.

My blogging efforts have lasted for nearly five years, and believe me when I tell you that I haven't come close to running out of words, but it it is time.... and past time to put my words into greater focus.

Thanks for everything,

Gunfighter Bill

Addendum:  As this blog is hosted on a pay-as-you-go server, I have saved a sort of "Best of Gunfighter" sampling here.

How I spent My Summer Vacation (2)

So, after a full night of sleep, we rose at a normal hour and put ourselves together for departure. We were on the road by 9-ish, and headed south. Which is when we hit our first snag: We had the wrong power cord for Soccer Girl's DVD player. Fortunately, we were only three quarters of a mile away from home. Good dad that I try to be, I didn't get mad… I didn't lose my cool. I just turned around, went back home, and got the cord that I thought was right. We headed back out, got on the highway, and were on our way!

   

Mrs. GF and Soccer Girl had planned to play the license plate game to see how many states we could count on our trip, and by the time we left our subdivision, we already had Virginia Tennessee, and New York. By the time we passed the Marine Corps base at Quantico (4 miles from our house) we had counted New Jersey, Pennsylvania, North Carolina and one or two others.

   

 We were cruising along and after a short time, SG decided she was ready to watch a movie, so she fired up her DVD player… or tried to. Apparently the cord that I went back to the house for, wasn't the right one either. Ah, well… she was just going to have to do without, and enjoy her multiple books and her MP3 player instead.

   

In practically no time, we made it through Richmond and Petersburg and crossed into North Carolina. We stopped for a quick lunch, and then nipped into Wal-Mart (this was in Roanoke Rapids, in case geography is your thing) to get a power cord. Instead of buying a power cord, we ended up getting a new DVD player, as buying a power cord would have cost as much money. Now, at this point you are probably thinking that this was a really indulgent thing to do, and you might be right, but from our perspective it was a relatively small price to pay to keep a certain eleven year old from getting bored on the long drive ahead of us.

   

OK, so… food and power issues resolved, we got back on the road on a beautiful (hot) sunny August day and did what we always do when we drive together. We talked. We talked about all sorts of stuff… my oddball brother, Mrs. GF's oddball mother, and all sorts of things.

   

The rest of the ride was full of the usual… looking at license plates, getting gas, looking at some the same billboards that we always see, taking note of the sometimes strange people that you always see on the road, and noticing that the corn in North Carolina was burning up in our hot, dry, summer.

By 6 PM, we were tired, but had almost arrived at our destination, and were getting off of I-95 at Brunswick, Georgia. We stopped at Zaxby's for a quick dinner...

   

   

...before driving over the F.J. Torras causeway to Saint Simons Island. We were staying at the same condominium that we used last year, and as soon as we grabbed the keys at the office, we quickly settled into our unit and went into immediate relaxation mode.

   

I hope you don't mind but I am going to throw a plug here, because I belive in supporting businesses that treat me well and give me good value for my money. If you ever decide to visit St. Simons Island, do yourself a favor and make your accommodations through Hodnett Cooper. They have lots of nice properties on the island and are responsive to their customers. We stayed at the Salt Air villas and loved the place. The unit (a one bedroom) was large, airy, and well-appointed. This was our second time staying there and we will be there again if I have anything to say about it (and I do).

   

   

So, what do you do on a coastal island in the summer, when the sun is shining and you are on vacation? I'll tell you what you do, you go to the beach! So that is what we did. I'll tell you something… St. Simons Island isn't what I would call a national beach vacation destination, and I think that this is a realllly good thing; because the beaches are wide, flat and at the time we usually take our vacations, nearly empty.

   

(Chillin', despite the heat)

   

We spent a few hours in the water and being warmed by the sun before going back to the condo to shower and change, before we went about the rest our day.

   

While we were on St. Simons, we stuck, pretty much to our routing of going to the beach in the morning, and then out and about doing the togetherness thing. One of the places that we never miss while we are there is the G.J. Ford book shop

   

   

This is a real, privately owned, book shop. It has an eclectic collection of titles, and despite its size, I challenge you to be unable to find something of interest. Fortunately, I married a woman who is always looking for the main prize in a bookstore, and on out trip to this shop, I left with a pearl of great price, a cookbook called: Glorious Grits.

   

   

One of our evenings we had the opportunity to spend an evening with some friends of ours who used to live in our area and moved to St. Simons several years ago. We met them for dinner, and then went to their house for desert. It was great to see them, and we try to spend a few hours with them every time we are on the island.

   

I won't tell you the sad tale of the breaking of my Blackberry… suffice it to say that I got it fixed.

   

All too soon, our visit to St. Simons Island was over. We had spent four days/nights, enjoying each other's company, eating fun food, hanging out on the beach, and reading much-anticipated vacation books. We had fun, and while we were sad to be leaving St. Simons, we were excited about the fact that the next morning (after a last walk on the beach) we were headed to The Happiest Place on Earth.

On My Mind Today

 
 

So let's begin: This afternoon, while Mrs. Gunfighter and SoccerGirl were at the salon, I went to get a few things from the grocery store. When I parked the car, I noticed the bumper sticker of the car next to me… it was this:

Now, don't get me wrong, I am all about free speech… I love it, but, I have to tell you that freedom of speech also means the freedom to be a complete f***ing idiot. Seriously… was this sentiment necessary? You have heard me comment about this more than once, but I am afraid that I have to bring it up again: Supporting the troops has nothing to do with endorsing our current wars in Iraq and Afghanistan… and yes, I know that the war in Iraq is technically "over" (whatever that can possibly mean for 50,000 combat soldiers in a country where people still shoot at you).

In my view, supporting the troops means making sure that they have what they need to fight. Making sure that they have those things, for a civilian, means producing weapons, ammunition, training, equipment, food, uniforms, and transport (among other things). Now most of us can't really do anything about those things on an individual basis, but what we can do is this: We can make sure that those things get paid for and into the hands of the people that need them as fast as possible.

I am on record as being against these wars from the start, but you have never heard me, or most of the people who are against these wars deride the soldiers who are fighting them. You have never heard me or nearly any of the people who are against these wars complain about the cost of said wars, except in terms of the cost in human lives. No, the people who are most in favor of these wars are the cheap, miserly, outright nasty SOBs who spend so much time carping about taxes. Taxes pay for the wars folks. Taxes buy the ammo; feed and clothe the soldiers; buy the gas that fuels the helicopters, drones, bombers, and Striker vehicles.

Once again, it has to be said that it appears to me that the second most patriotic act that you can do when your country is at war is not waving the flag, it is bearing the fiscal cost. Conversely, the most unpatriotic thing that you can do is to claim to "support the troops" while be unwilling to pay for them.

 

 

 

This fine fellow that you see here is Charlie. Of course you already know that. This is a picture of Charlie taken as we drove back from the kennel the day after we came home from vacation. Isn't he a handsome fellow? That is my boy!

 

 

Now this… I found this picture online after I read a story printed somewhere several weeks before I went of vacation, but never got around to writing about. I won't take too much time with it today, because we are heading off to church in a little while, and I want to get this posted. What I would like to say, as emphatically as I can, is this: Eww!

Seriously.

I suppose in the fashion industry, this might be the ideal female figure, but not in the world that I inhabit. I am rather sure that it isn't in your world, either. Lord have mercy, people… where was this fashion show held?, Bergen Belsen? There is something very wrong with us, friends, if the standard of feminine beauty looks like a starving 12 year old boy with long hair and high heels.

 

 

In this picture, you can see some of the people in the M-4 rifle class that I was teaching just before my vacation. If these chaps look tired and worn out, it is because they are. If you didn't already know, here in northern Virginia it was nearly as hot as the surface of the sun for most of the summer… these guys are seriously feeling it. They were a good class, though, out of 24, all but two were able to qualify with their new rifles.

 

 

This speaks for itself... or at least it should!

 

 

Lastly, you get a picture of me, taken with my webcam, minutes ago. It wasn't supposed to be thelast picture, but Mrs. GF needs the computer before we go to church.

 

Cheers,

GF