Gunfighter: A Modern Warrior's Life

Remembering Nick Manoukian

A few years ago, I first told you about the story of  A young Marine from Michigan, who lost his life in the Anbar province of Iraq.   His name was Nicholas Manoukian, and he was 22 years old when he died.

Since then, I have posted about this dedicated young man several times, particularly on Veteran's Day.  You see, I promised this young man's mother that I wouldn't forget her son, and that I wouldn't allow others to forget him, either.

Nicholas Manoukian is one of over four thousand Americans and untold hundreds of thousands of Iraqis who have been killed in Iraq since the U.S. invasion, of that country, and now that President Obama has said that all American troops should be out of that shattered country by the end of this year, I want to say something that I think is important.

You see, we Americans have short memories.  Seriously short, if you can recall our last Presidential election we were concerned about the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and now all we do is quietly shake our heads about them.  Those on the left have moved on to Occupy Wall Street and other things, and those on the right are up in arms about gay people and wrecking the ability of our goevernment to govern.  Now, not too many people talk about these wars.  I guess it isn't popular for anyone these days.  Well guess what, kids?  These wars aren't over, and Americans are still dying. You probably already know how I feel about the wars, but this isn't about that.  I want to talk to you today about a particular young American.  A young person who is probably fairly typical of the soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines who have lost their lives doing the bidding of our government.

 

This is Nick Manoukian.  A husband and father from Lathrup Village, Michigan.  He lost his life during his second combat tour in Iraq, in 2006.

Look hard, folks.... look and ramember that this young fellow died for his country.  Look and remember that no matter what your politics are, this country, for the sake of it's own soul, has to remember that the actions of our government have consequences that mean more than political rhetoric.

By all accounts (I have been in touch with Nick's mother, Mary, and several of his Marine  Corps comrades for a few years now), Nick was a great son, and a first class Marine.  He was also a good friend to those who knew him.  The loss of this young man is a loss to all of us.

I didn't post this on Veteran's Day this year, because I didn't want it to get lost in the general flag-waving and fist pumping that generally happens then.   I want people to remember Nick Manoukian on days that aren't so special.  I want you to remember this young man who left a grieving, heartbroken mother and wife & child.  I want you to remember him for all of those who won't come back from those places.

 

Corporal Nicholas Manoukian, 1st Battalion, 6th Marines, 2nd Marine Division, 1984-2006

Self-Delusion and National Security

Here is the problem of our times: In the early 1990's, the Soviet Union fell apart, and when it went away, the european Communist boogeyman went away. For the past generation, Soviet successor states and the nations they spawned have been eyeing each other warily, or have been actively killing each other. In either event, their threat to western europe and thereby, the United States, at least temporarily, disappeared.

What was America to do? We no longer had a ten foot tall giant to be afraid of.

Well, luckily, we didn't have to wait to long... Saddam Hussein, the toolbag Dictator-in-Chief of Iraq, was stupid enough to invade Kuwait, threatening American (business) interests in Saudi Arabia!

Well! We sure as hell weren't going to let THAT stand, now were we? (Insert remarks about Hussein being abetted and encouraged by April Glaspie and Donald Rumsfeld here).

Anyway, we smashed up a significant part of Hussein's army, and went home to live in peace, right?

Well, not so much.

At the end of the 20th century, despite not having any real, present physical threat to our security, Americans did what we normally do: We turned inward. All of a sudden, we decided that the threats to American security was our own government... and poor Mexicans.

All of a sudden, many (really stupid) Americans were convinced by powerful and dangerous interests (some of them from outside of the United States), that our own worst enemy was our (mostly) fairly elected government.

Go figure.

We started to buy into fear mongering to the point that homegrown (racist) terrorists (who call themselves "Patriots") started blowing up federal office buildings (and American children). This was bad enough, but we didn't truly start to lose our national security minds until our country was finally touched by international terrorism on a large scale.

I don't need to go into detail about certain events that took place ten years ago... You get the idea, right? So, instead of doing what we should have done about terrorism, we overreacted be came terrified of a bunch of idiots with bomb vests, and went to war (overtly) in two different countries and covertly (sorta) in at least 5 more.

Now, we have impoverished ourselves with the costs of war, and the (allegedly) most Patriotic among us are unwilling to pay them.

We have become, in the span of 20 years, an impoverished, anti-intellectual giant that hates itself (especially it's own brain). We are afraid of immigrants (and not just the illegal kind) unless they are white and Christian, we are afraid of our politicians, especially if they aren't white (or effing crazy). We fear all of these things while we waste our army, air force, and Marines in Iraq and Afghanistan, doing virtually nothing to counter the only credible military threat we face: China.

Whom do we have to thank for all of this? The modern Conservative.

Be afraid for our future... but prevent disaster by not being scared into inactivity.

Be active! Be bold! Don't be afraid to speak out against those that would drive us into the night.

For God's sake, do something.

“Happy” Memorial Day?

If I hear another person say "Happy" Memorial Day, I may commit mayhem.

There isn't any reason to be happy about this day. None at all. Clearly there is a real and growing misunderstanding about what Memorial Day is all about abroad in the land. I would like to take a moment to clear up the origins and history of this national holiday.

Did you know that the holiday we now celebrate was initiated by black freedmen after the civil war? Well, it was. The freed black population in and around Charleston, SC began this tradition by memorializing the dead Union soldiers buried at Hampton Park. In 1866, "Decoration Day" (as it was known then) was celebrated in Waterloo, New York. The number of cities, and states memorializing our war dead increased until it became a recognized federal holiday, being named "Memorial Day" by act of Congress in 1967.

Now that we know that Memorial Day is a holiday that we use to recognize the sacrifice made by our fallen soldiers, I have to ask you what is there to be happy about? Sure, we celebrate our freedoms, but that is what Independence day is supposed to be about, isn't it? We celebrate our living veterans, but that is what Veteran's Day is supposed to be about. We celebrate our serving soldiers, but that is what Armed Forces Day is supposed to be about.

No, my friends, there is no reason to be "happy" about our war dead. Those men and women are just dead… many of them having died furthering the agendas of our government, NOT securing or protecting American sovereignty. Those men and women deserve no less prayer, consideration, and recognition than any other dead soldier… maybe even more, considering the questionable causes we have sent our soldiers to die for.

As a veteran, and as an American who has known people who have died in battle (and after a battle because of psychological wounds manifested later), I want you to remember our war dead properly. I want you to stop thinking about Memorial Day as the "beginning of the summer season". I want you to stop thinking about Memorial Day as just another long weekend. I want you to THINK about these dead people. I want you to THINK about your own culpability in some of their deaths. I want you to stop waving flags and chanting "USA! USA!" when we send our soldiers to war. I want you to start thinking about ways to lessen our national penchant for expending the lives of our soldiers for bullshit reasons.

Think about it.

"Happy" Memorial Day? How about Solemn Memorial Day, instead.

May all of our war dead rest in peace.

 

Crime & Punishment

I got to sleep in this morning, because Mrs. GF is still in Boston and I have to take Soccer Girl to school.  So when the alarm clock went off this morning, I had the opportunity to spend a little time listening to NPR, which I enjoyed.  There was the usual news, traffic, and weather stories while I showered, took the electric razor to the graying stubble on my chin, and as I got dressed, there was a story on gang-related crime in Virginia.

I will cut to the chase and tell you that the story itself was interesting, but what I found objectionable was the fact that some people (certainly not all) were actually of the opinion that since prison sentences for criminal gang members doesn’t prevent young people from joining gangs, criminal prosecution and incarceration isn’t the way gang crime should be combated.

This is what I wanted to talk about today.

I suppose that it won’t shock you to hear that I think that the sentiment expressed above is just so much piled up steaming horse**** on a cold Virginia morning.  While I am as much about crime prevention as anyone, I believe that when prevention fails, as it sometimes does, that prosecution after the fact is the next logical step.

I have never been able to get next to the notion that “building fewer prisons” is a solution to anything.  It seems to me that the “build fewer prisons” crowd is more about coddling the criminal class.

Yes, that is what I said… the criminal class.  You did realize that there is such a thing, didn’t you?  Those people who are wired towards wrongdoing… those that no matter what things you legalize, they will continue to break whatever other laws that there are, right?  Those people.  I call them the criminal class, because I think that is what they are, other people use a scientific name for them, they call them sociopaths.  Well, not matter what you call them, they are real.

So, what do you do about the criminal class?   For me the answer is simple:  When a person is convicted of a crime, they should be incarcerated for a long period.  Symbolic jail sentences and so-called country club jails should be things of the past.  I say that if you commit crimes, you should do hard time.  Why hard time?  Because, generally speaking, rehabilitation doesn’t work.

Jail might not fix the brokenness of the sociopath, but neither will trying to reason with him (or her).  Getting them away from the rest of society is about the best you can do.

Happy 235th Birthday Marines!!!

On November 10th, 1775, in Philadelphia... the city of Brotherly Love, Captain Samuel Nicholas was commissioned to recruit and organize America's first Marines.  Little did Captain Nicholas know that his name would live as long as American Marines continued to draw breath, from one age into another.

 

Captain Nicholas certainly couldn't know that 235 years later, his creation would be known as one of the most fearsome fighting force the the world has ever known. 

 

How could he have guessed that these rough and ready soldiers of the sea would be the stuff of fame and legendary exploits like the assault on Chapuletec castle, or the storming of Peleliu, or of the invasion of Inchon?

 

Nicholas surely, in his whole life, couldn't have imagined Marine tanks smashing the Iraqi Republican Guard at Kuwait International airport, or laying the smackdown on Taliban forces in Al-Anbar Province in Afghanistsn.

 

Since the inception of his Corps... Our Corps, United States Marines have been putting the boot to the ass of our enemies, but good.  We have done it in the tropics of the Pacific, the sands of the Middle East, the frozen moutains of the asian mainland, and in the equatorial heat of Africa... truly, in "every clime and place" like we sing in our hymn.

I am as proud of my service in the Corps today, as I was when I graduated from basic training, in 1981.

Happy Birthday Marines.

 
“Resolved, That two battalions of Marines be raised consisting of one colonel, two lieutenant-colonels, two majors, and other officers, as usual in other regiments; that they consist of an equal number of privates with other battalions; that particular care be taken that no persons be appointed to office, or enlisted into said battaions but such as are good seamen, or so acquainted with maritime affairs as to be able to serve with advantage by sea when required; that they be enlisted and commissioned to serve for and during the present War with Great Britain and the colonies, unless dismissed by order of Congress; that they be distinguished by names of First and Second Battalions of American Marines, and that they be considered as part of the number which the Continental Army before Boston is ordered to consist of.”

 
(The Second Marine Division... My Division!)

Gunfighter: On Military Spending

So... here is the thing.  As I was driving home from church today, I saw another Tea Party-Don't-Tread-On-Me-bottom-feeding Republican with the usual run of stickers on her car.  The stickers accused the President of being a socialist; being a muslim; and seeking to weaken the United States by destroying the military.  Oh, and one of the stickers on the car identified her (or whomever the owner of the car is) as a commissioned officer in the armed forces of the United States. 

Can we say dangerous?

It sickens me to think that not only are some of our military people this bloody stupid, but that this is an officer.  A leader.  A commander.  A commissioned officer that thinks that this kind of rhetoric is productive, useful, or patriotic.  Personally, I think that the officer to whom that car belongs should be cashiered immediately.  Oh, and spare me the usual crap about "she has the right to voice his own opinon" because if you know anything about the military, you know that this is not true.

It is time the military  esptablishment in this country gets put back on it's leash and understands that the armed forces aren't special.  The members of the armed forces of the United States  aren't any better than the society they serve, simply by having decided to wear the uniform.  Members and veterans of the armed forces aren't any more or less patriotic than the general run of Americans.  All of these things are true... and they also apply to those who have served in Iraq or Afghanistan.

One of the things that I am getting tired of hearing about is the "fact" that President Obama is somehow "destroying" the armed forces.  How can this be possible?  I suppose it is because the President has supported legislation that would ensure that working Americans, many of whom make less money, and have fewer entitlements than members of the armed forces, are able to receive some modicum of decent, affordable healthcare.  Have some military people never stopped to think that if it weren't for wearing a uniform and putting on airs, they would be in the same economic group as those in the ranks of the uninsured?

So... the right-wing crackpot machine thinks that the military is being "destroyed".  Maybe they believe that because the President had the courage to actually put the costs of the wars on the books.  You know... actually putting the costs into the budget, instead of pretending the costs were going to be paid out of some magic bag of money... or a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.  You did realize that this where the bulk of the "runaway spending" that the GOP complains about comes from, didn't you?  Good, I am glad that I could help clear that up for you.

Could it be that the right-wingers are mostly worried that the President is actually doing something that other Presidents didn't have the courage to try?  Could it be that they are afraid that if if gay men and women have the opportunity to serve openly in the armed forces, that the sttraight men and women would somehow be diminished if their homosexual fellow citizens were able to serve their country, too?  Hmm.

Personally, I don't see whatever it is that they think that they see.  I happen to see a world that holds no military threat that could possibly be poised to strike the United States in such a way that would cripple or destroy us.  There are no two nations that even if they were to combine forces that could actually threaten the United States outside of a nuclear attack, and in this I include Russia and China.

The truth of military spending is that this country could freeze military spendin at it's current levels for the next ten years, and our nearest rival/threat couldn't hope to gain any meaningful advantage over us.  So why the hue and cry?

I dunno... maybe my perspective is poor.  Maybe I just don't get it.  Or, maybe... just maybe, I'm right.  Maybe we could quit wasting time, lives, and money in Iraq and Afghanistan and start rebuilding the parts of our forces that have been broken since 2003.  Maybe we could use that money to replace worn out helicopter engines, and destroyed humvees, and rifles and machineguns that have passed their peacetime shelf-lives ten years early.  Maybe we can replace the destroyed vehicles, worn out tanks and all of the other equipment that our armed forces need.

I am proud of my own service to my country, and I honor my fellow veterans, including my father, father-in-law, brother, friends, neighbors and colleagues who have served their country... especially those who went on to fully-integrated, productive civillian lives as family members and taxpayers who pay for the entitlements of those still serving.  Because we shouldn't forget, my friends, that no group in America, not even the mythological "welfare queens" or even our seniors, is more entitled and receives more monetary support when weighed against their rate of taxation than those serving in the active armed forces.  N0body likes to hear it, but it is true.

When I am King, our aremed forces will be largely conscripted, effectively eliminating the largest part of the entitled military class.

Patriot Day

Here in the United States, September 11th is now known as Patriot Day. Patriot Day was instituted by President George W. Bush (and an act of Congress) in 2002 to memorialize the victims of the terrorist attacks that took place on this date the previous year.

Most people in this country refer to this day simply as "nine-eleven" or 9/11, and unfortunately, spend entirely too much time talking about the attacks that occurred on this day, nine years ago. Why do I say too much time?, because compared to the numbers of innocent deaths that were caused by the attacks, the United States has more than amply taken it's pound of flesh in retribution.

The attacks of September 11^th, 2001, instigated two wars in which nearly six thousand (and counting) American service men and women have been killed; wars in which hundreds, perhaps thousands of allied service men have been killed, wars in which uncounted thousands… even hundreds of thousands of civilians have been killed, continuing to this day. Well, I don't know about you… but none of this makes me feel particularly patriotic.

I started thinking about how I should mark Patriot Day, because I don't think that there is any really good reason for waving the flag on a day that has no meaning other than a commemoration of the death of thousands of people, so I did what I normally do when I need to work things out… I wrote.

Being patriotic comes naturally to me… Love of country and service to the same run long and deep in my family, but to me, patriotism means more than jingoism, so I decided that not only would I not be doing any flag-waving, I would do what comes naturally when I think about doing what is good for my country. So I spent September eleventh like I spend most of my days: I spent money on things that were made in the United States, because spending our money at home is good for our economy; I spent the day with my family, because family is what we are… or should be what we are all about; I cheered for my daughter's soccer team as they pummeled another team in their season opener, because athleticism and competitiveness are good and healthy things; and I drove my American-made car, because I believe in buying American when I can.

Do you know what I didn't do on Patriot Day? I didn't support the liars, racists, and myth-makers that propagate stupidity by accusing the President of the United States of being a Muslim (or a socialist, or a foreigner). On Patriot Day, I didn't spend one single minute grousing about my taxes (which pay for our wars and for so many of the things that people in this country want and need). I didn't talk about our loss of freedom, because there has been no loss of freedom in this country since this President came to power… the loss of certain freedoms happened on the watch of the previous President (the one that founded Patriot Day. See the Patriot Act). Do you know what else I didn't do on Patriot Day? I didn't try to deny the right of any Americans to build a house of worship. Neither did I ram the cars of some of the other parents at my daughter's soccer game… those foreign-made cars which were sporting those stupid "Don't Tread on Me" stickers so popular with the Glenn Beck crowd. I didn't do any of those things, because I don't believe that those are things that a patriot should do.

The last thing that I did for Patriot Day was to pray. I prayed for my family, my friends and coworkers, and the victims… all of the victims of war, and other senseless violence, and I prayed for peace. I did this not only because prayer is a regular part of my daily life, and not only because praying for peace is a good thing, but because I have the freedom to practice my faith as I see fit, as long as it doesn't impinge on the rights of others to practice their own faith, or to not practice a faith of any sort. That too, is Patriotic.

 

Freedom Isn’t Free (not by a long shot!)

You have heard the term "Freedom Isn't Free", haven't you? If you have never heard it spoken, you are almost certain to have seen it on someone's t-shirt, book tote, or as a large sticker on someone's car or truck. Mrs. GF and I saw a car with one of those stickers on it today, while we were heading to Disney's Animal kingdom (Soccer Girl wanted to see some more animals… could I say no?)

Anyway it made me think, and it started an oft-repeated conversation between us. I'll shorten the conversation down to its most salient point, which for me is this: Those friggin' t-shirts, stickers, banners, and signs really piss me off. Do you know why they piss me off? Well, I'll tell you. That particular sentiment is a favorite of Republican/Conservative/Libertarian/Tea Party whack-jobs who chant "USA! USA!" out of one side of their faces while whining about the federal government and paying taxes out of the other.

Personally, I don't get it… how can we shout defiantly that "Freedom Isn't Free" while complaining about the costs? How can the anti-tax nimrods continually natter about President Obama's spending, while having been silent about the orgy of spending perpetrated by his predecessor? How can we say "Stay in Iraq/Afghanistan as long as it takes to finish the job" (that would be the job that Mr. Bush was never able to define), without counting the cost? Never mind the cost of lost lives and limbs… because the whack-job right doesn't care about our soldiers and Marines getting maimed or killed. After all, if they cared, they wouldn't be so effing happy to have sent those men and women to war for no good reasons in the first place... but I digress.

Look, wars cost money. Wars cost an unholy sum of money… numbers that the average person couldn't even being to visualize. The cost of ammunition; the cost of replacement parts; the cost of tanks, aircraft, and trucks… not to mention the gas/oil that it takes to fuel them, is beyond astronomical. The costs of equipping soldiers and Marines alone is staggering, to say nothing about the cost of equipping the sailors and airmen that are in the war zones.

Let's get away from wars for a moment, because our freedoms and our safety aren't just about the military are they? Of course they aren't. When you have a car is stolen or when your kids go missing, you don't call the 82^nd airborne division… you call the police. When you fall down the stairs in a household ambulance, you call your local EMS paramedics. When there is a house fire or a car fire, there are firefighters rushing to assist to you as best they can. That stuff costs money, too.

You know, the military, our intelligence services (who have secret budgets you and I will never know about), and our Police/Fire/EMS and other first responders aren't the only guarantors of our freedom. One of the other guarantors of our freedom is education. Because we all know that an educated citizenry is the first defense against tyranny, don't we? Well guess what, warriors? Public Education is the best way to make sure the largest possible number of people in our society is at least basically educated. That costs money, too.

You see, we all want things. We want fire protection, we want police and EMS services, we want a strong military, we want to be educated, we want air safety, we want safe roads, and we want government services that we feel that we need (and those services will vary depending on your age, health, income level, etc…). What Americans are really twisted up about is paying for the things that we want. Somehow, a significant proportion of the American populace has gotten into their heads, that they can have all of the things that they want, fight two wars at the same time, and cut taxes. That math doesn't work, warriors. It doesn't work at all.

No sir, freedom isn't free… and blood isn't the only price. As a matter of fact, blood is the cheapest price there is, because we have so much of it. Freedom isn't free, because freedom costs an awful lot of money. That money has to come from somewhere, warriors, and guess where that is? Yup, you got it! It is coming from your pockets. I know you don't like it, but there it is.

You want a new moon rocket/heavy launch vehicle? You have to pay for it.

You want a new class of submarines? You have to pay for it.

You want roads? You have to pay for them.    

Not enough firefighters in your town? Uh huh… pony up!

Personally, I don't like paying taxes for a lot of things that our money gets spent on. No sir, there are some things that I don't like one little bit, but I'll tell you what: you'll never hear me carping about paying taxes, because paying taxes pays for those roads that I mentioned, and the teachers and others that staff our schools, and to our police and fire services. The money that I… that we pay in taxes funds our awesome armed forces (you may have noticed that we haven't sent our folks to war with a few shotguns and muskets). Paying for those things is my duty as an American citizen, and good Americans are attentive to their duty.

So there you have it. Paying your taxes is paying for your freedom. Complaining about it only makes you seem like a spoiled child who doesn't want to take a bath, even though taking a bath is exactly what the child needs.

Now, can you people please shut up, quit your whining grow a scab and pay your share without cheating?

Dr. Laura & Niggers

I am interrupting my awesome vacation to talk to you about our country.

The country that we Americans live in and love  is sliding right into the toilet.  No, not because of entitlement or liberlism or immigration or any of those red herrings.  We aren't in deep trouble over those f***ing morons who where their pants hanging off of their asses (like the idot I saw at Disney's Animal Kingdom yesterday).  We aren't losing our way because of an Islamic community center near the former site of the World Trade Center.

Nope, uh uh.

We are losing our way because of conservative victimization.  That's what I said: conservative victimization.  In an America where conservatives regularly make excuses for the treasonous Confederates, where conservatives make noises about armed revolution, where conservatives blame all of the ills of our country on the poor and then pretend that they themselves are victims... we are in a world of shit, people.

I don't have to spell all of these things out for you, gentle reader, because I know that all of you are smart enough to know what I am talking about... and if you need examples of any of whot aI just said, please let me know and I willprovide them in spades!  Speaking of spades, now comes the latest conservative "victim" Dr. Laura Schlessinger.

You all know who Laura Schlessinger is, right?  The really odd-looking conservative radio talker who waves the wingnut banner on her syndicated show?  Right, that's the one.  Well, Schlessinger has landed herself in the limelight once again.  Last week, during a call-in segment on the show, Dr. Laura apparently used the word "nigger" eleven times in a 5 minute segment.  Surprising no one, least of all Dr. Laura, I am certain, there arose a terrible hue and cry.  People and groups were calling for Dr. Laura to apologize, calling for boycotts on her advertisers and a telephone campaign to her employers to get her off of the air.  It worked.

Dr. Laura announced, on the Larry King Show that she would be ending her show at the end of her contract, which just happened to be ending right about now anyway.  The good Doctor claims that she isn't ending the show because of poor ratings or anything like that... no, she says that she is ending her show (which has been running for many years) because she feels that she has lost her first ammendment rights.  You heard me...  a woman who has made a good living partially based on talking to (and frequently offending) people, is claiming that she is ending her show because she feels that she can no longer say the thinkgs that she feels need to be said.  Apparently, people need to hear the word nigger over and over.

I have to say that I think that the whole furor over her use of the word nigger is a bunch of bulls**t, after all, some of you who are reading this post, probably use the term more often than you would be comfortable admitting to your friends.  Some of you probably never use the word and are ffended by it, even if you aren't blsck.  Some of you are black and use it anyway, and think that it's ok as long as no one who ISN'T black uses it.  You have to quit giving words power over your lives.

Sure, Dr. Laura is a dope.  Indeed she is a dope of the firt rank... but being a dope isn't illegal, and complaining about the stupid things that come out of the mouths of dopes isn't the same thing as losing your first amendment rights.  So, Dr. Laura has decided to quit her show?  Who the f*** cares?  Not me, because I was never a fan anyway.  She can complain all she wants to about having her rights supressed, but we all know that this is nonsense.

"Oh, look at poor white, conservative girl, ME!  The colored people and the liberals are ganging up on me!  I'm losing my right to free speech!  Someone call Broadview security!"

Seriously, Laura... kiss my ass!

As much as I dislike the current culture of conservative/republican/Tea Party/whacko-wingnut victimology, I truly dislike professional victims of all sorts.  Those that make a living being disgruntled about things that they never make a true effort to change.

 

Gunfighter and The World Cup

You know something?  Despite the fact that I was a youth soccer coach for a few years, I never really learned to love the game.  I mean... I understand soccer.  I even know how the game is played.  I fully understand the offside rule, how and when what color cards are used for what type of offenses, and I believe in the supremacy of the referee.  I get it.  I really do.

  

Having said all of that, as an American man of a certain age, I didn't grow up playing soccer like so many suburbanite kids do today.  I am from Vauxhall, New Jersey, and we played football, baseball, tag and other games in the street.  I played intramural football as a boy.  The kids who didn't play football, played little league baseball... there were even some kids at my school that played lacrosse.  Sure, we had soccer teams at my high school, but people pretty much tossed that aside as soon as high school was over. 

Why? 

Because we are Americans, and soccer isn't our game, that's why.

At least.... it wasn't our game.

Fast forward from my high school graduation (in 1981) to today.  We live in a country where a bunch of guys (mostly over 40) stand around the office in the morning talking about how crappy the referees call were in SOCCER games!  We care about the United States making it out of the initial stages of play in the World Cup.  We even talk about vuvuzelas (WTF?) in normal conversation

 
To make things worse, while I was at the Barnes & Noble at the mall with my family this Saturday (Tyson's Corner) and kept hearing intermittent cheering... and I wondered what it was all about, until we were leaving and walked past the TGI Fridays.  It turns out that everyone was cheering about the third-place game between Germany and Uroguay.

Things have changed in America, indeed they have.

Despite those changes, I have remained aloof about soccer.  Oh, sure, I am as happy as anyone about our country having announced itself as a major player in the worl of international soccer, but I am jingoistic like that.  Give us 20 years, and we will be beating the living crap out of the best that Europe and Africa can throw at us!  But I digress.

As I said, I don't love soccer, I can't even say that I like it, but what I will say, with complete honesty is this:  There is nothing like watching soccer when the game is being announced in Spanish.  If you don't believe me, go here.

I congratulate the Spanish team for their victory, the Dutch team for getting as close to victory as they did, and all of the participating teams that qualified for the tournament.