Gunfighter: A Modern Warrior's Life

June Blog Exchange

Tomorrow is the day for the June Blog Exchange, so I won't be posting here, instead, I will be hosting a guest blogger, and I will be posting at her site.

I encourage you all to visit me at her blog. I also encourage you to read her material here, and comment as you may.

The Blog Exchange is a bi-monthly writing community organized by Kristen Chase where blog authors can stretch their writing muscles, discuss and debate timely topics, and gain new readers by placing their post on someone else's blog.

Gunfighter - Live @ Motherhood Uncensored!

If any of you are interested, I will be participating as a guest on Kristen Chase's Motherhood Uncensored web-radio talkshow, tonight, at 9 P.M. EDT.

The topic will be Father's Day and "What Real Dads Want"

Follow the button here or in the sidebar.



Cheers,

Gf

May Blog Exchange

Friends,

Today is the day for the May Blog exchange! The Blog Exchange is a monthly writing community, managed by Kristen Chase, of Motherhood Uncensored (and many other blogs!), where writers get to stretch their writing muscles... and rant on someone else's blog, for a change.

My guest blogger for today is Heather. I'll be at her place, today.


The meaning of Mother’s Day has changed for me over the years. Whereas once it was a day that I HAD to be nice to my mom (and more often than not, failed) it is now a day that I WANT to be nice to my mom… and honor her.

Because now I have heathens children.

Now I know what it is like.

Let me first state that I have a wonderful mother. She’s a geriatric nurse and she loves what she does. She’s good at what she does and if you ask her why she chose working with older people.. she’ll tell you… “They are just as confused as I am.”

I can also state that my mother is unique.

I’ve heard, over the years, ways that mothers discipline their children. For some, it was a switch. For others, a paddle. For me and my younger brother, it was dishwashing equipment.

Dishwashing equipment?

Yes….

One day my brother and I just wouldn’t stop arguing. I remember it like it was yesterday… She was standing in the kitchen, washing dishes and we were going at it again… she finally turned to us and yelled, “If you two don’t stop it, I’m going to… going to shove this dishwashing equipment down your throat.”

She doesn’t remember saying this. We do. And we told Dad when he got home.

The following Christmas, and every Christmas thereafter, I got “dishwashing equipment” of some sort from my father.

We also felt that we could go to our mother and ask those tough questions. You know… those like “Were you a virgin when you got married?”

There was silence followed by “I wore a white dress.”

“That’s not what I asked,” I said.

“I wore a white dress,” she again replied.

This was where my dad piped in and grinned as he asked me, “Would you buy a car without test driving it first?”

I thought my mother was going to die. Right there. On the couch.

I often told her that she was the meanest mother in the whole world. She’s proud of that title. And when my daughter calls me the meanest mother in the whole world, my mother looks at Samara and says “Oh no. I am the meanest mother. I have worked hard to earn that title and until the day that I die, I will be the meanest mother in the whole world.”

I have big shoes to fill if I’m to take over the title.

As I’ve aged, my mother is a little cooler and not so dumb.

She and my 87-year-old grandmother have become pretty close. They are typically like two unsupervised teenagers when they go out together. The last phone call I got she informed me that they purchased Spring Break 2007 tee-shirts while in Panama City, Florida to wear to the Master Gardner’s meeting upon her return. Shortly before that, she called to inform me that she was now a Sweet Potato Queen, complete with crown.

She tells me that women who wear red shoes don’t wear underwear and old people who wear gold shoes do so only to mask the pee that may run down their leg and into their shoes because of incontinence. Yes, she’s a wealth of knowledge, that mom of mine.

And she still fusses over me just like I’m little all over again. On a recent visit she wanted to know if I slept okay, if I was warm enough, and one evening we sat at the kitchen table and talked for over two hours about anything and everything. I don’t know when we’ve ever done that.

So let me take this moment, right now, to apologize for everything I ever did, said, didn’t do, didn’t say or thought about doing for the past 30 years. I love you, Mom.

Heather Jacobson is a single work at home mom to Matthew (age 10) and Samara (age 7) who is Desperately Seeking Sanity. Read more about her and her quest for sanity at DesparatelySeekingSanity.com

My Blog Exchange Entry

I don't know how many of you got to read this at the beginning of the month, when I was involved with the Blog Exchange Project. The excercise for February was to write a post in the voice of someone famous, without making specific reference to said famous person.

I exchanged with Suzanne. I hope that you went to her site while she was visitiong me here. If not, please go and visit this funny and sometimes frenetic writer at her blog: CUSS and other rants. Please make sure you go and spread the love.

You know, when you get to be my age (65), you start to look back at your life and wonder how things might have different if you had made other choices. In my case, I have to tell you that my life has turned out rather well. I have been married to my high school sweetheart since 1964, and I have not only risen to high political office, I have also made a boatload of money along the way.

As I said, I have led a successful life… but there ARE a few things that I would change if I could: First, I would have done better in my studies at Yale… I was flunking out and almost lost one of my five draft deferments. That was scary, especially withy a war heating up!

As much of a war supporter as I have been throughout my political career, as well as in my private career… it's just that… well… I just had other priorities in the 60's, so I didn’t bother to serve… yeah, getting married before I even finished college was well-timed… they weren’t drafting married guys then, so it was cool.

So, there I was, in college, married, and safe from the draft… at least, until the laws changed and married men were eligible again. Shit! What now? Well, we decided to start a family, right there and then. They were taking married guys… but not married guys with kids! Well, that worked out well enough, and kept me out of uniform until 1967, when I turned 26 and was no longer eligible for the draft. Whew!

As I said… perhaps I should have done some things differently, I mean, now, military service is popular… especially with all of those useless great working class people. Maybe if I had served, people would quit calling me a “Chickenhawk” Maybe if I had served, people would be less likely to think that I am eager to send their sons and daughters to risk the safety of their asses while I never did anything even remotely risky (except for getting arrested for drunk driving… twice, years ago) . Too late for that now, though, especially since the Iraq insurgency is in its last throes.

Well, I guess I can’t dwell on things for too long. What’s done is done, they always say.

Geez, I am getting old. I am starting to get maudlin over the fact that my days of power are on the wane. In not too long, I’ll have to leave this great house on Massachusetts Avenue, and return to the private sector.

Maybe it’s time to do just that. Maybe then, nobody will get all bent out of shape just because I like to drink while hunting. You’d think I shot somebody in the face or something… oh.

You can find more info about the Blog Exchange and how to participate, as well as the January participants and entries, by clicking here

Not a Girl, Not yet a Woman

I'm like, so excited to be going out tonight with the girls! Thanks to Paris, we're hitting only the hotttttest clubs and bars. I've spent days getting ready. Hair extensions, dye, nails, tan, make up, and most importantly, waxing. It's a rully good thing I got my girlie parts waxed, too, because as I am getting dressed I am realizing that I own no pants or skirts. Or underwear. Even thongs or g-strings. Where'd they go? That lying jerk K. must've taken 'em in an effort to keep me inside tonight. Yeah? Well, I'll show him! In fact, I'll show the world that nothing can keep me down. Bottoms? Ha! Sooooooo overrated and all. You'll see. You'll see all. I mean, you'll all see. There's nothing between me and the photographers. Seriously.

Speaking of bush, I don't understand why people are being so mean to the president these days. I mean, he's the president, so we should just listen to him and do what he says. He totally knows what is best for our country and billionaires like me. I mean, taxes are boring and all, but I think I saved lots of money because I "stimulate" the economy so like, I shouldn't have to pay taxes. Giggle giggle.


Suzanne lives in Manhattan with her husband and 13 lb. rabbit, Tycho Bunnae, but is unwilling to fully abandon her Chicago roots, and insists on calling soda "pop" and sneakers "gym shoes." She blogs (usually profanely) about feminism, travel, things she finds funny (usually gross), and life's various irritations at CUSS & Other Rants

You can find more info about the Blog Exchange and how to participate, as well as the January participants and entries, by clicking here. Gunfighter is at Suzanne's place today, so please visit by clicking here!

Staying Alive: How to Maintain a Pulse Amid Laundry, Work, and Childrearing

I am pleased to present the first, of what I hope will be many, special guest posters here in gunfighter world.

Please give a warm welcome to Rachael from CrankMama





Many people spend a great deal of time just getting by each day:
paying the bills, cleaning (or not cleaning) the house, managing
grocery lists and children and soccer games and work. We may
reminisce about our earlier less encumbered days (child-free, sexually
free) but at some point we have to make peace with the fact that this,
whether we like it or not, is our life.

So what of happiness? Energy? Lust for life? How do we keep those alive?

There are clearly many approaches (kabbalah, yoga, vegetarianism,
adultery, television, food, drug and alcohol addiction), some healthy
and some unhealthy, but I think the key to the whole thing is
determination to keep our candles burning.

If we surrender to the onslaught of middle-age (not the physical but
the spiritual malaise) we've already lost the battle. We have to
remain alive and determined to live a passionate life. In this sense,
I think it's a matter of will.

The will to stay alive and keep kicking, despite hardship and weighty
responsibility. We talk and share our real selves with the people we meet, and drop
the pretense and the fakery, the "I have children so all I can discuss
is Billy's potty-training," we bring up sex at a dinner party, we talk
about politics and religion and personal growth.

We refuse to settle. In this way, we stay alive.

****

Gunfighter's Note: Many thanks, Rachael, for being the first volunteer. I really appreciate that you did this, and did it so fast!

GF

Blog-Swap?

I have decided to start my own blog exchange... I am going to call it a blog swap, as I don't want to start any cofusion, and I certinly don't want to get involved in any sort of copyright infringement.

This swap will be very similar to the ongoing project started by Kristen at Motherhood Uncensored. The only real difference is that this exchange swap will be sort of an internal thing, for people that regularly read/comment here on my blog.

If you are interested in guest-posting here at The View From Here, please email me at: gunfighter1173(at)gmail.com