Gunfighter: A Modern Warrior's Life

Golden Globes recap

Hi, Golden Globes, it’s me, Bill.  Can we talk?  Great.  Thanks for taking a moment to listen to me on a busy press day like this one.

 

So!  You had your big night on Sunday… I can imagine that you are feeling pretty good after the way it went… the glamorous stars in their finery, the eating, drinking, and feelings of camaraderie for the film & television industry’s big night.  I am happy for you, even though I was unable to celebrate with you initially.  You see, Big Love made its season premiere the same night, and I had to hurry up and order HBO on DirecTV in time to watch it.  Hopefully, you will be gratified to know that I did watch you on Monday while I did laundry and ironed my shirts.

 

Yes, indeed, GG, you were spectacular.  Not only did one of my favorite shows win for best comedy, but two of its stars were recognized individually in their own categories!  Even better was the fact that “The Social Network” did as well as it did.  I confess that as a Facebook user, I was kind of hoping that it would do well.  I further confess that I didn’t see the movie… or any other theater release in 2010 (but I did read about ALL of the nominees, so I hope you won’t be too angry).

 

Can I tell you, GG, that there were a few moments that made me truly proud during the telecast, such as when the second banana from Glee, you know, the guy who isn’t Ryan Murphy, said that public school teachers had the most important job in America (or words to that effect).  I couldn’t agree more.  I was also pleased about Annette Benning winning an award for The Kids Are Alright.  Not because I liked the film… as you know, I didn’t see it, remember?  No, what I like about that was the fact that she went unrecognized for her excellent work in Open Range, several years ago.  So, yeah… there were good moments for me.  There were more good moments, and I will tell you about them in a moment, but before I do, I have to throw a few bricks at you, because, as you know, I am all about being “Fair and Balanced”.  Its ok, you can laugh about that, I did, too.

 

Anyway, about those bricks; the first one I need to throw is more of a cultural brick than one aimed specifically at you, because I know that this one isn’t your fault, namely:  What is it with nerd glasses these days?  Oh, don’t act like you don’t know what I am talking about.  In the past year, celebrities of all sorts have started wearing thick-rimmed glasses.  On it’s face this wouldn’t bother me, if it wasn’t for the fact that I see this as an attempt at some really f***ed up form of faux gravitas.  Seriously… we live in a time when Hollywood celebrities engage in any and all forms of self-mutilation from ridiculous breast augmentation, face lifts, lip injections, butt lifts, fake pectoral muscles, tummy tucks, dental veneers, botox injections, liposuction, nips and tucks, and everything else including near starvation in the pursuit of “beauty” (in truth, they do it so they can keep working).  I find these things horrifying… Wait, no that was dishonest… I am only saying that because I can’t afford any of that stuff, but I digress.  My point here is that given the expense that stars will go to look perfect, I refuse to believe that any of those people would shy away from spending three thousand dollars for a laser procedure to correct their eyesight, and avoid having to wear glasses or contacts.  No, I can’t help but feel that this is a style-only thing, where some of these people are wearing geeky glasses so they will look smart.  Certainly what they wear is their own business, but in my humble opinion, they are beyond ridiculous.

 

Since I am on the subject of fashion can I tell you what I thought of some of the fashions?  The following people looked like shit on your show:  Sandra Bullock.  Yes I know that some people consider her America’s sweetheart (not mine, but there you are), but she looked bloody awful in that dress… and her hair!  My God, I would have volunteered to shoot the stylist myself.  Natalie Portman:  Best Actress in a drama or not… she looked like crap as she squeaked, mouse-like, through her acceptance speech.  Helena Bonham Carter…. Do I really need to say anything about her?  That chick is just creepy.  Lastly, I have to wonder what sort of look Geoffrey Rush was trying to pull off, with that stupid looking hat that he wore during the whole show.

 

Whew!  You know, GG, I feel a lot better having spoken to you about these few items.  I enjoy watching you every year, but certainly never more than I have for the past two years, when you have been hosted by the brilliantly funny Ricky Gervais.  You know, since I mentioned Mr. Gervais, might I have a word with you about him?  What is up with your management having conniption fits about his jokes?  You must be kidding me…. Ricky Gervais is a professional comic.  He tells jokes, and rather funny ones at that, for a living.  Moreover, Gervais is an Englishman and as such has a slightly different manner of delivery to his humor.  While I am aware that some of my countrymen may not get his jokes, I certainly didn’t find him to be mean-spirited or having crossed any lines of taboo as he took comedic stabs at some Hollywood icons.  All of the current hub-bub puts me in mind of the big to-do at the Oscars several years ago when Chris Rock made a few jokes about Jude Law who had made five or six movies that were released in one year, by the time the show was over, half of Hollywood seemed to have a beef.  Especially the self-important jackass Sean Penn, who was portrayed this year at your show by Robert Downey Jr, whose work I normally enjoy.  Its Hollywood friends… here is a little free advice from your Uncle Bill (hey, stop picturing Brian Keith in your heads!)  if you don’t have a thick skin, you’d better hope that you have a knack for growing scabs quickly considering some of the garbage you put out.

 

Hey, thanks for the talk… I’ll see you (and hopefully more of Ricky Gervais, and less of the nerd glasses) next year.

 

Bill

 

**NOTE**  In case anyone reading this is sensitive about wearing glasses, give it a rest.  I am aware that wearing glasses doesn’t make you a nerd.  Further, I don’t think that wearing glasses makes a person particularly attractive (or not).  If that did offend you, please see my advice to the Hollywood glitterati.

Retiring My Blogs

My life is changing in ways (all good) that I wouldn't have imagined when I started blogging five years ago.  To be sure, I'm not the same person that I was when I started all of this.  For me, writing has been a transformative thing, even though all I wanted to do when I started this was to share some of my random thoughts with others.

When I started my blog, I had no idea that there were actual things like blogging "communities"... I had know idea what a blogging community was until I found myself a member of more than one.  In the past five years, I have been welcome in the community of lesbian bloggers, mommy bloggers, dad bloggers, Progressive bloggers, political activist women bloggers, and well, too many to name, but you get my point.  My thoughts found like-minded people, and those people made me feel at home.

My blogging has also led me to some things that I never expected:People started soliciting my opinion on books, soap, athletic shoes, books, sunscreen, books, and books.  As much as it was fun to review products, I had the most fun reviewing books, even books for which I had not been solicited.

For me, blogging became therapeutic, and sometimes even cathartic, it has also been helpful to some, judging by some of the comments and email that I recieved after one post or another had touched someone.

Blogging was fun, but as in all things, there comes a time to call it quits.  So, it is time for my "Gunfighter" persona to retire, as I move on to what comes next for me. 

I will be closing this blog effective January 4th, 2011

My friend Becky has always encouraged people to be authentic in their blogging, and I think that I have been that.  I have given you my thoughts.... sometimes random, sometimes pointed, sometimes funny, but always truthful and from my heart.  I appreciate the fact that some of you have been listening.

As much as this sounds like an acceptance speech at one of the numerous awards shows that I enjoy, I would like to take a moment to acknowledge some people that have been on this ride with me, but it would take too long, and undoubtedly, someone would start playing music to hustle me off the stage, so I will say only the following:  For all of the people who were so good as to read and comment at my blog(s), I give heartfelt thanks.  For those of you who actually became buddies and even friends, I likewise give you thanks, as our association continues to be a blessing to me.

My blogging efforts have lasted for nearly five years, and believe me when I tell you that I haven't come close to running out of words, but it it is time.... and past time to put my words into greater focus.

Thanks for everything,

Gunfighter Bill

Addendum:  As this blog is hosted on a pay-as-you-go server, I have saved a sort of "Best of Gunfighter" sampling here.

The Academy Awards Recap

Even though I am not a serious movie-goer, I always enjoy watching the Academy Awards show because of a few things.  I like seeing the Hollywood celebrities get all dressed up.  Well, not really.  I watch the award shows to see which women lookreally good or awful in the gowns that they are wearing.  I watch to see who shows up intoxicated, or worse, gets interviewed while intoxicated.  I am usually rewarded in my diligence by some idiot who, while not reading a script, for once, says something really in appropriate and gets by the delay-silencer.

Last night, however, I was disappointed to a certain degree, by the fact that so many people behaved so well, and didn't look really horrible (except for Nicole Kidman, who looked like a corpse, and Sarah Jessica Parker, who looked like Sarah Jessica Parker eesh!).  I will say for the record that the following people looked really nice:  Kate Winslet, Taraji P. Henderson (A native Washingtonian... Washington, DC that is), Viola Davis, and Amy Adams.  If you noted the lack of dudes in that group... well, that's because Gunfighter doesn't roll like that, and really, as long as your Tuxedo is cleaned, pressed, fits well, and doesn't have a red cumberbund, all the guys will look essentially the same.

Now, there weren't any celebrity gaffes on the Red Carpet that I noticed, although, I tend to fast-forward past the people that don't interest me... so if I missed something, I apologize in advance.  Because I am a nice fellow, I won't mention the interviewer who asked Robert Downey jr. who his date was for the evening.  Turns out that it was Mrs.Robert Downey jr.  Oops.

OK, the show starts... Hugh Jackman is hosting?  Cool.  A good departure.  I am more than a little tired of the Conan/Whoopi/Billy Crystal thing that they had going on for a while, and, as much as I love Ellen DeGeneres, she is a bit hard to wear for three hours.  So Jackman makes the usual patter and breaks into the opening number, which was quite good.

I'm not going to bother with a run-down of who won which award, because if you really care, you already know.  I will say this, however I am glad that Slumdog Millionaire won the Best Picture award, just because I hate sure-things.

Oh, and if I never hear the name Heath Ledger again, I won't be upset at all.

The highlights for the evening were:  Meryl Streep (just because I love Meryl Streep), and Hugh Jackman's ode the the musical.  The rest of the show I could have done without.

Truthfully, the best part of the show happened before the show really got started.  When Mickey Rourke walked the red carpet, looking absolutely horrible in that monstrosity of a white tuxedo, an interviewer spoke to him about his dog, Loki.  Rourke spoke briefly, but with emotion aboutthe death of his 18 year old dog, and that he would gladly trade an Oscar to have more time with her.  Whatever Mickey Rourke has done in his life, in my book, he is forgiven.  Any man... especially a man, who can communicate his love for his pets like Rourke did, is alright in my book.  For me, Mickey Rourke was the winner of the evening

Good on you, Mickey, and Godspeed to you, Loki.

The 2008 Gunfighter Awards

Friends, it's time for the 2008 Gunfighter awards!

The Gunfighter awards...  where I will award my personal accolades on films, television, books, politics, blogs & bloggers and anything else that pops into my head.

Giving awards on an opinion basis is a lot of fun, because I don't have to worry about making any powerful people angry... what are they going to do to little 'ol me?  Make sure that I never work in Hollywood?  I don't think that's part of my life plan, so I don't have to worry about it.  The only downside to THIS award show is what I said about it last year:  that there will be no spectacularly bad dresses or tuxedos on the red carpet.

 

Our first award is Villain of The Year:

There are lots of people that we could give this award to...  chief among them are George W. Bush and his ventriloquist, Dick Cheney.  They've done enough long-term damage to this country to earn this distinction for the rest of their lives, but, they get no villain award this year.  This year, the Villain of The Year award goes to Governor Rod Blagojevich (D-Illinois) 

Really Governor?  Trying to sell the Senate seat of the man who was just elected President of the United States?  You really thought that you would get away with that?  I am still stunned by it.  Worse than stunned... I am appalled.  Maybe I'm naive.  Maybe this kind of thing happens all the time and this is just the first time it has been brought so fully to light.  Maybe... but no matter what, Rod.  You are pond scum.  You are worse than pond scum.

You sir, are even more evil than the Grinch, and I am going to enjoy watching you do hard time.

The Worst Political Campaign Award:

This is a cinch, isn't it?  This award should have been easy to award... but alas there is a tie.  The two people who most deserve this award are serving United States Senators, and they are sharing this award because they both ran horrible campaigns for the Presidency of The United States. 

These Senators waged the most shameful and disgusting Presidential campaigns I have witnessed in my life.  Never, in my memory has there been a campaign that made more use of blatant fear-mongering and race-baiting.  Never have I seen a Presidential candidates so clueless, that he didn't know what authority he had to appoint or dismiss various officials.  Never have I seen a woman whom so many people admire for her progressive ideals willingly leap in to the mire of racism and "you're pickin' on me 'cause I'm a GIRL!" behavior.  Never have I seen a Senator I once admired for his dignity and willingness to cross party lines turn into a party automaton and piss away all of the things that made him admirable, just so he could have a last grasp at the oval office. 

This year, this award goes to Senators John McCain (R-Az), Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY)

 

The next award doesn't really need an explanation, does it?  Well, it shouldn't, anyway.  The next award is the: Don't-You-have-Better-Sense-Than-That? award

This award is for conspicuous bad judgment from someone that we SHOULDhave reason to believe is capable of much better judgment.  I tried to make a determination between two strong candidates, this year, but I was unable to tell the two apart in term of how freakin' stupid they are, so this year's award goes to both Elliott Spitzer, the former Governor of New York, and John Edwards, former Senator and Presidential candidate from North Carolina!

Really, gentlemen... what were you thinking?  I'll leave off of the moral accusations... there is enough that being flung about (deservedly) without me giving voice to it.  What I will discuss is your incredible bad judgment.  You really didn't think that you would ever be found out about your er... extramarital behavior?  Edwards, while a Presidential candidate, has an affair, while his wife suffers from cancer?  Dude!  And Spitzer... well, at least we know his wasn't an affair of the heart.  His affair(s) was/were strictly business:  This idiot spent tens of thousands of dollars on whores.. or a particular whore, which somehow seems worse.

What makes all of this worse than just bad judgment, is the fact that these two effing morons were elected leaders. They actually believed that they either wouldn't get caught, or that they could charm their way out of the political fallout.  Good grief.  The arrogance is amazing.

No... I'm not the sex police.  Personally, I'm not interested in the sex lives of politicians, but given the national political climate in America and our collective prudishness, these dummies really should have either done a better job of concealing their booty-call behavior, or stuck to web-porn for their jollies.

 

American Hero of the Year: 

This award is for conspicuous bravery in the face of incredible scorn, hostility, ridicule and the pressure of the United States government.  For braving professional antipathy, and potential loss of livelihood in order to do the right thing, the two recipients of this year's American Hero award are the two communications intercept officers at the National Security Agency (both Army reservists), who had the courage to speak up about the abuses that the super-secret agency were perpetrating in the name of "National Security", to wit:  Eavesdropping and recording personal communication, including intimate discussions, between our soldiers serving overseas, and their loved ones back home... and then passing the recordings around the office.  The persons who did this thing are despicable.  If you have the time to listen to love-talk between a solider and his/her spouse/girlfriend/life partner, you clearly don't have much work to do... or you are a pervert.  Pick one.  

 

Best Movie of The Year: 

Iron Man.  Hands down.  Don't EVENtry to mess with me on this one.  Don't give me any crap about Batman or Heath Ledger.  Nope.  Uh uh.  Not havin' any.  Robert Downey Jr. was the best possible choice to play Tony Stark/Iron Man.  The movie was well made with great production values... enough to satisfy even the overgrow comic-book geeks like yours truly.  Get it on DVD right away!

 

Unintentional Starting Of A New Catchphrase:

You know, being a political year, I would have to say that the hands down winner in this category has to be: "Drill, baby, Drill!"   I wish this one was as much fun as "Don't Tase Me, Bro!", but you can't have everything, I suppose.

 

Best Entertainment Discovery

Jim Haskins, the professional financial planner who turned his love of cocktail music into the recording series "Cocktail Piano".  Mr Haskins is only a quasi-professiaonal pianist, and has produced at least 11 excellent CD's of the most wonderful music.  These CD's are great for good conversation, and easy listening... and if you have a cocktail party, well, they are perfect.

 

Least-Talented Entertainer:

Well, I can think of no one more deserving than Colbie Callet.  If you are wondering who Colbie Callet is, don't feel like the lone ranger...  I had no idea who she was until Mrs Gunfighter mentioned her to me.  Mrs GF then went on to tell me about that obnoxious song that Callet sings:  "Bubbly".  Don't know the name?>  I didn't either... it's that damned "Starts in my toes and it crinkles my nose..." song that you hear waaay to often on the radio. 

 

The Way Out Of Your Depth Award:

This is a no-brainer... just like this year's recipient.  The Way-out-of-your-depth award goes to Governor Sarah Palin (R-AK).  Do I need to give examples?  How about I start and end with the fact that she doesn't really know what the Vice President is supposed to do?

Most Deserving Presidential candidate:

Dennis Kucinich.  Too bad most people won't listen to him.  I disagree with his position regarding Israel/Hamas, but he still deserved a better hearing than he got from the entrenched Democratic leadership.

 

Hottest Chick In Hollywood:

It's still Salma Hayek.  Lord have mercy.

 

The Worst Lawyer In America:

Alberto Gonzalez.  Hey, 'Berto, you are supposed to UPHOLD the law when you are attorney general... not break it or twist it to suit your master's illegal purposes.

 

The Best Beer In America:

Stone Imperial Stout

The biggest curmudgeon in America

Senator Ted Stevens (R-Ak)  Enjoy prison, Senator.  You earned that cell, in spades.

 

The Best Television Show

There is a tie, ladies and gentlemen!  A tie.  This award goes to my favorite TV shows:  Boston Legal, amd Terminator:  The Sarah Connor Chronicles. 

Sadly, the 2008 season was the fifth and final season for Boston Legal, which, for me, was the funniest show on television.  Much more than being funny, though, Boston Legal was smart.  It was political (and my kind of politics, too!), it was well-produced, and the writing was superb.  Of course, the absolute strongest part of the show was the on-screen interaction between characters Denny Crane and Alan Shore, played by William Shatner and James Spader, respectively.  I doubt television sees anything as smart as this for some time to come.  Alas.

As for Terminator:  The Sarah Connor Chronicles, this show isn't about smart.  Nope.  It's about cyborgs, morality, time travel, and blowing things up.  All of which are things I enjoy.  This season was even better than the last, and centered on... oh, you don't need to know the plot devices, do you?  See, there is this one cyborg, palyed by hot chick Summer Glau, who doesn't look like she could hurt a fly, and she is ass-kicker numero uno on this show.  What's not to love?

 

The Worst Television Show

This award goes out, with love and great big smoochy kisses, to all of those awful home-design shows on HGTV.  All of 'em.  'Nuff said

Best Gift Award

The best gift award goes to Mrs Gunfighter, who gave me a smokin' hot (and expensive) Japanese-made Santoku Chef's knife for Christmas.  Laugh if you like, but it was the most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given me.  Thanks, baby.

The second-best gift was the new Chevy Tahoe that Uncle Sam just gave me to drive.  It had 38 miles on it when I picked it up.  SCORE!

Best Bookstore

Mrs. Gunfighter says that the best for her is at the Visitors Center at Colonial Williamsburg.  No doubt we always find great things that we can't find elsewhere... but for me, it is the book section of the gift shop at Washington, DC's National Cathedral.  Just awesome.

Coolest Church

Has to be Bruton Parish in Williamsburg, Va.  It is the oldest, or one of the oldest, Episcopal congregations in the United States.  I really love that place.

Best Hotel Chain

The Hilton Garden Inn:  Hilton has never let us down in any of the places that we have stayed in them... and that is quite a few at this point.

Best Youth Sports Coaching Award

This award goes to Coach Patty.  Patty is a former jock herself, and has proven to be a great leader for the players on SoccerGirl's team.  I think that it is a great thing for the girls to have a woman as a coach, so they can see that women can be strong athletes and leaders too!  Hat's off to you, Patty... I appreciate you more than I can say.

Worst Political Prognosticator of the Year

Shelby Steele:  For believing and writing a book stating that Barack Obama COULDN'T win the Presidency.  Mr. Steele is an eminent academic and respect his body of work... but Mr. Steele, what part of YES WE CAN! did you not get?

Stupidest Athlete of The Year

Plaxeco Burress (WTF were HIS parents thinking about??): For shooting himself in the leg with an illegal handgun in  night club.

If only he had been carrying the gun in his hat.

Horse's Ass of the Year

George W. Bush:  What?  You thought I was going to leave him alone this year?  fat chance.  Bwaaahahahahahahahaha!

 

...and there you have them.  The 2008 gunfighter awards.

Happy New Year, everyone!

 

GF

 

 

American Music Awards - 2008

I enjoy awards shows.  Did you know that?  I suppose you may not know it if you are a little late to my blog.  If you've been around for a while, you know that it's true.

In the past couple of months there were two award shows that were on that I recorde and planned to review the next da, but I just never got around to it?  You know what I mean?  Work, family, soccer etc... etc... etc.... all conspired to get in my way.

Until now.

Saturday night, I sat in my rocking chair to watch the American Music awards.  Oh, I confess to fast-forwarding  through a great deal of it, but only because the show was from October, and therefore not really spending too much time on.  Until almost two hours into the nearly-three-hour show.

It was at that point in the show where Beyonce was introduced to sing a song whose name I I didn't know until I saw the show. It's called "Single Ladies". Do you know he song? You probably do... but me? I am probably the least cool man in America.

It's a catchy tune, to be sure, but the tune isn't what is really catching here.  I haven't seen this much booty shaking since Ike & Tina and the Ikettes.  Behold:

Nice, right? Here is the question that I have to ask. My question is: Would Beyonce and company be able to dance worth a damn without all that hair to fling about?

Jeez.

Oh, and on another subject. Is it just me, or does Kanye West come across as super-phony, and arrogant?

Anyway, so much for my ramblings in the dead of night.

Cheers,

Gunfighter

The Emmy Awards

  As you know, there are few things that I like more than an awards show. 

I love them, I really do.  I love them more for their potential for disaster and God-awful fashion than anything else, and truthfully, I am seldom disappointed.

Well, last night, as I Tivo'd through the Primetime Emmy awards, my disappointment was held at bay, yet again.

Last night's show didn't have any wardrobe malfunctions that I know of, nor were there too many political barbs, even though I loved the comment by Laura Linney about community organizers.

The reason that I loved this year's Emmy awards wasn't about fashion, even the Christina Hendricks did amazing things to that dress.  I didn't love the Emmy's because of Tom Bergeron or the creepy folks that hosted.  I didn't love the show because Tina Feywon some awards, even though she deserved them, from what I hear.

No.  The reason that I loved this year's Emmy awards is because of the fact that HBO's miniseries John Adams garnered the lion's share of awards.

This important miniseries was exceptionally powerful.  It was powerful because it was well-filmed, well-written, and well-acted.  It was powerful because of it's subject matter. 

I blogged about this series when it first aired, and I don't mind telling you how excited I was for the people involved during the show.

Congratulations to...

 Paul Giamatti for winning the award for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Miniseries;

 

  Laura Linney for winning  the award for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Miniseries or Movie;

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  Tom Wilkinson for winning the award for winning the award for Outstanding supporting Actor in a Miniseries or Movie,

 

 

  Kirk Ellis for winning the award for Outstanding writing for a Miniseries, Movie, or Dramatic Special, and to

 

 

 

 

 

 HBO & Playtone for winning the award for Outstanding Movie or Miniseries

 

 

Well-deserved, all of you.

As for the rest of the show, it was unremarkable in the extreme... except for what Christina Hendricks was doing to her dress when Mad Men won for best drama series (whew!)

GF

Tomorrow:  What Is A War Hero?