Gunfighter: A Modern Warrior's Life

DVD Review: The Brave One

A few weeks ago, I bought this DVD, figuring that I would give it a watch some evening when I had some time on my hands... you know, like before I fall asleep in my rocking chair.  I bought it at Wal-Mart, paying something like thirteen dollars for it... so I didn't feel particularly pressured to see it in a hurry.

Well, I watched it last week, and I have to tell you... I'm not exactly sure what to think.  For those of you who are unfamiliar with this not-quite-a-gem of a movie, here is the premise:  Jodie Foster plays the host of a Talk-Radio show who who, along with her fiance, were attacked by a camera wielding gang of thugs in a New York city park.  Foster is badly beaten and in a coma for three weeks... the fiance, played by Naveen Andrews, is beaten to death.

When Foster is released from the hospital she, quite understandably, sees the world, and the city of New York through new eyes.  She does something that she never considered before... she bought a handgun.  At first, the gun was something that she wanted to have to protect herself, but when she had the bad luck to be in a convenience store when a man came in and shot the clerk to death, she killed the perpetrator in order to defend herself.  Not sticking around to talk to the police about what she had done (with an illegal weapon), she began a string of vigilante killings.

Starting with two punks on a subway train (a` la ), she shoots her way through several less-than-nice people, including one who is the nemesis of the very detective that is working on the vigilante case... and who is a potential love interest for Foster.

Foster, in her grief and rage, also experiences a great deal of guilt, and in the movie's final scene, she goes to kill the people who assaulted her and murdered her fiance... but not before telling the investigating detective where she is going.

In the final scene, Foster kills two of her three assailants, but before she can kill the third, the Detective (played by Terrance Howard), gives her his gun in order to make the scene indicate that the dead men are the vigilante killers.

The bottom line for me is that I never go and see police movies or crime dramas of any sort in the theater as they are so formulaic... and usually so not like reality that I can't be bothered to watch them.  This movie was as formulaic as the rest, but overall it wasn't a bad way to spend the hour and a half that it took to watch it from the comfort of my rocking chair.  The only real problem I had with the movie is that the gun-play is so incredibly bad that it offends me in a professional way.  Start with the picture on the movie poster at the top of this page... Ms Foster... with her finger on the trigger of a pistol, is pointing said pistol at either her feet or other body parts.  To put it mildly, this sort of behavior is contraindicated.

Anyway, good fun for a little while.  If you watch it, you probably won't hate it... unless movie violence bothers you.

Movie Review - Iron Man

Have you ever heard of a movie that was hyped nearly beyond belief? 

Have you ever seen a movie that left all of it's best bits in the tantalizing trailer?

Heave you ever read a book and wished that there would be a film based on the main character? 

Have you ever gotten your wish, and then be disappointed with the results?  I have.... you probably have, too.  Today, my friends, I am pleased to report that this is not the case!

Today, I went to see the 12:15 showing of Iron Man.  Iron Man, that very human super-hero.  Iron Man, the hero that gadget-head boys always loved. Iron Man, in whose mechanical suit of wonders, lived a very real and very flawed man (who always got the hot chicks, and had more money than God).  By God, I wasn't disappointed.

I left the house (without showering, I must confess), at practically a dead run, because the AC repair man was at our house, and prior to that I had been doing the laundry.  I had 13 minutes t get to the theater... which was easily doable. 

Arriving, I parked in the back 40 so I wouldn't waste time finding a spot.  As I walked into the AMC Potomac Mills Theater, I noticed something:  There were no small number of men... mostly from around my age to about 30 heading in the same direction.  Some in "casual business" attire, some in jackets and ties.  All striding purposefully for the ticket window, where we waited, like 13 year olds waiting for the new super roller-coaster, to gain entrance into the biggest event of our summer.  We shared unashamed smiles and didn't even care that the young woman who sold us our tickets was trying her best not to laugh at us old dudes who were all going to see the first showings of the Iron Man movie.

Gaining entrance, I bought a large popcorn and a large coke, not caring that I had just plunked down $10.50 for it (my movie ticket was 8 dollars).  I took my snack (it was my lunch, OK?), AND my notebook and found a seat.

****NOTE**** There were only three women in the theater

There were the obligatory trailers, some of which looked like movies that I would actually see, like the re-release of the first Rambo movie, the new Indiana Jones movie, The Dark Knight, The Hulk, and a few others.

Then it was time for Iron Man, which wasted no time in drawing me in....

The movie begins in Afghanistan, with Tony Stark, played by Robert Downey, Jr. wearing a suit and tie, swilling scotch, and... wait a second.... this isn't important.  I don't need to tell the story.  You all either have read about the plot, or plan to see it, so I don't have to rehash it, or tell you about it.

What I will tell you is this:  This movie effing rocked!  It was, in my estimation, the perfect action movie.  It had explosions, it had a quirky but quasi-realistic hero, it had explosions, it had gadgets, it had clearly defined "good guys" and "bad guys", it had a hero that you could see yourself as, it had a sidekick, it had a pretty love interest... did I mention explosions? 

Yes, Iron Man has it all.  It has it all and done in a well-filmed, visually pleasing package.

Additionally, this movie can be seen and loved by people that didn't grow up on Iron Man comic books, even though there are a few insider tidbits for longtime fans, such as the music from the old Iron Man cartoon from 1966/67.

What's not to love?

Robert Downey Jr. played Tony Stark to the hilt.  Terrence Howard as Jim "Rhodey" Rhodes, was excellent, even though his character wasn't exactly the comic book Rhodey.  Gweneth Paltrow was fine as the hyper-efficient "Pepper" Potts, even the villain, Obidiah Stane, was well played by Jeff Bridges.

My friends, I have rarely seen a movie that met or exceeded all of my hopes.  This was one of them.

See it, you'll love it.

GF

Did I mention that this song played in the end credits?

All Geeked Up Over Iron Man!

I can't be the only man on the planet that is impatiently awaiting the release of the new Iron Man movie, can I ?

I can hear the chirping of the crickets, already.

Well, crickets or no, I am excited about it.  I was a real comic book geek when I was a teenager, and I am looking forward to this movie in a way that I couldn't come close to matching with those Superhero movie train wrecks like X-Men (1-3), The Hulk, Daredevil, & the truly horrible Fantastic Four. 

For me, the best Superhero movies ever were Superman (the first one), and Superman Returns... because when you get right down to it, folks, Superman is not only a badass (like me), he is a really good, GOOD guy (also like me), so what's not to love about him, right?

Well, this doesn't have much to do with the Iron Man movie, because our hero is... well, I won't tell you about it now, I'll wait until the movie premieres (which I will be seeing on opening night, you can bet your ass on that).

Suffice it to say that I think that this new Iron Man film may outsell all of the previous Superhero movies for an important reason:

Cool Gadgets.

Oh, yeah... men with gadget envy will go to see this movie because Iron Man has a suit that will not only allow him to fly, and smash things, and all sorts of cool stuff... he has a suit that can blow s--- up!  Now, be honest, in man world you don't get any better than that... unless there is a sex scene with an unreasonably hot chick... and you still get to blow s--- up.

Sure, I'm being juvenile, but you'll have to forgive me... It's Iron Man. 

The 2008 Oscars

Well, the 2008 Oscars are in the books.

Let's have a look, shall we?

Please note:  My comments were bing typed nearly in real-time, as I started watching the show at about 9:40.

My friends, the 2008 Oscars are about to start, and if you have been reading me for a while, you know that this is my big TV night!. All of the other award shows, The SAG awards, The Emmy’s, The Grammy’s, The NAACP Image Awards, The Golden Globes, the Juno awards (big ups to my Canadian readers, eh?!), and the Brit Awards (I don’t think any Brits read me anymore… Oi!, you Brits, you can come back now… you know that I love you)….. All of these pale in comparison to the Oscars (although I really do like the BAFTA’s. Before you say anything, the reason that you don’t see any mention of the BET awards is because I am participating in the boycott of BET (Black Entertainment Television)

If you have been reading for any length of time, you know that I love award shows, beyond reason. You also probably know that I seldom have seen any of the nominated films before the show… but hey, that’s me… I’m not watching this show because of who wins what… not at all,

I want to see people say and do really dumb things. I want to see how horribly (or whore-ibly) they are dressed. I want to talk about who seems hammered, who behaved poorly, and to see if Joely Fischer’s breasts make an appearance. Yes, I mean that. I’m a man. Sue me.

As usual, I have Tivo’ed the Red Capet activities from E!… not because of the vapid activities of Ryan Seacrest and Giuliana DiPandi, but because it’s fun to see what these people wear (sometimes it’s REALLLLY bad)

As I type this, we are an hour and a half from start-time, and I am getting a head start on this post as Mrs Gunfighter and I enjoy some wine, and listen to the newest CD in my collection: Gregorian Chill Out. Yes, Gregorian as in Latin monastic chanting. Before you laugh too hard, you should give it a listen some time. Really. Anyway, we are at the kitchen table listening to some music, having a glass of wine, Mrs GF is reading, SG is watching something on television upstairs, and eating her dinner, while I type away here, and keep an ear open for the kitchen timer. I am roasting a chicken, tonight, and I think it’ll be a good ‘un

Well, it’s time for the red carpet…. And after some banal chitchat, the first person up is style guru Kimora Lee-Simmons, that irritating pothead stoner.

Heidi Klum & Seal talk to Seacrest, who were wearing Galliano & Dior… and to be honest, while they look great, does anyone really give a damn who the designer is? Heidi informs us that she isn’t wearing a bra, but she IS wearing “tiny panties” (and thanks for sharing that, Heidi, really).  Heidi says that isn’t interested in seeing any of the movie stars tonight... ash she says: “I have my man!” Um… Heidi? I love you, mein schatz, but that bun on the back of your head looks like some sort of alien appendage.

Ryan gets to talk to George Clooney & his girlfriend Sarah something-or-other. Clooney seems like a good guy.

And then talks to Jason Bateman… Zzzzzzzzzzz.

After Anne Hathaway, he talks to Sairose Ronan…. From Atonement. What a cute Irish brogue.

Hey… The Rock is here! I love that guy!  OK, is it just me, or does he sound a wee bit like Barack Obama?

Here comes James McAvoy! I like that guy. He was great in The Last King of Scotland…

Wait!

Wait!

It’s Helen Mirren… purrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. You know that Gunfighter loves some Helen Mirren. Still sexy. Way sexy.

Oh… It’s Tilda Swinton. I think she is quite a handsome woman... in an unusual sort of way.

Cameron “The Frog” Diaz I still don’t think that she is very good looking.

Alright… it’s show time, kids. Tighten your seat belts.

John Stewart is hosting tonight, and although I don't normally find him to be terribly funny... we will see how he does.

Opening sequence… okay, kinda cool.

Here is John. Hey, it’s Nicholson on the audience, wearing his shades, of course.

Diablo Cody, the screenwriter for Juno has a Sailor Moon (or something) tattoo on her shoulder.l.. and where the hell do you get a name like Diablo Cody?

Stewart:  “The Oscar is 80 this year. Which makes him the automatic front-runner for the Republican nomination”

OK, more stupid political jokes follow, most of which tank.

Jennifer Garner presents first… isn’t she purdy?.  The first award is for:

Costume design

Across the Universe

Atonement

Elizabeth: The Golden Age - Winner

La Vie en Rose

Sweeney Todd

Not surprisingly, the winner, whatever her name is, looks like a complete freak!

Next George Clooney comes out to talk about the history of the Oscar. A montage of presentations etc….

Anne Hathaway and Steve Carrel are next… apparently they are going to star in the upcoming “Get Smart” movie.  They present for:

Animated Feature

Perespolis

Ratatouille - Winner

Surf’s Up

Ratatouille wins! Go Disney!

Here is Katherine Heigl, who looks lovely in red, to present the awards for best makeup... as if anyone outside of the industry really cares.

Amy Adams sings “Happy little Working Song” from Enchanted… I guess it is a best song nominee… it's irritating.

The next Presenter is Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson…. Ain’t he cool?  Presenting for best visual effects.

Visual effects

Transformers

Golden Compass - Winner

Pirates of The Caribbean: At World’s End

Take THAT, Catholic League!

Cate Blanchett is next. So hot... even pregnant. Who doesn’t love the Aussie accent? She presents for art direction but I could care less about that, so I am fast forwarding. Why? ‘cuz it’s my Tivo, and my blog, and that what blog owner’s do!  Yeah.

Oooh, it’s Jennifer Hudson… doesn’t she look splendid!? Thank God that not every woman in Hollywood isn’t built like a dinner fork. She is presenting for best supporting actor.

Supporting actor

Casey Affleck

Javier Bardem - Winner

Phillip Seymour Hoffman

Hal Holbrook

Tom Wilkinson

I didn’t see the movie, but the clip looked awesome.

Bardem thanked everyone, and then gave thanks in Spanish for his mother. Very nice

Hey, Dancing With The Stars Starts Monday, The 17^th!

Here is Kerri Russel for another best song nominee A Song called "Raise it up". I like it… it is being sung with a gospel choir.  Apparently the lead female vocal in this song is only 12 years old. Wow.

OK, getting a little tired of Stewart , now.

Owen Wilson presents for live action and animated short film…. I won’t bother with details, because no one cares.

Allen Arkin is next to present for Best Supporting actress.

Supporting Actress

Cate Blanchett

Ruby Dee

Saoirse Ronan

Amy Ryan

Tilda Swinton - Winner

Swinton makes funny remarks... completely deadpan.  I love the British humor delivery.

Jessica Alba presents for The scientific and technical awards that you, again, don’t care about.

OK, some guy who talks about how the Oscar decisions are made…. Fill, fill, fill.

Stewart is back to introduce Miley (overexposed) Cyrus. the presenter for…. Another best song nominee.

You know, I think that Jon Stewart is hosting his last Oscars... I think that he isn't doing very well.

Seth Rogan and some other fat, bespectacled, hairy schlumpfs with horn rimmed glasses and bad haircuts are nominating for sound editing!

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Forest Whitaker is next, Presenting some award, and he starts with quoting Marlon Brando.... OK, Forest, get on with it.

Actress

Cate Blanchett

Julie Christie

Marion Cotillar - Winner

Laura Linney

Ellen Page

How wonderful. Marion Cotillar seems so nice., and genuine.

OK, it's getting a little late now…. Here is Colin Farrell for the 4^th nominated Best Song

Now comes Nicholson, to introduce best picture montage, and then Renee Zellweger for achievement in film editing.  I wonder who Zellweger's voice coach was, to help her get rid of that God-awful Texas twang she used to have.

Nicole Kidman… the reportedly pregnant Nicole Kidman. She is as white as a sheet… and not very good looking when you get right down to it. Production Design? Fast forward!!!!

Next is Penelope Cruz: Best foreign language film

Foreign Language Film

Beaufort (Israel)

The Counterfeiters (Austria) winner

Katyn (Poland)

Mongol (Kazakhstan)

12 (Russia)

John Travolta presents the best song award, but again, we still don’t care…. Moving on

Hey, after the break, Stewart reintroduces the young woman who did the best song. She apparent;y didn’t have enough time to thank people. So here she is. I guess they were running out of time.

Next is Cameron Diaz… a cinematography award.

OK, I have caught up with the broadcast right at eleven o’clock…

Hilary Swank talks about dead people,shows Montage…

Amy Adams does Best Score…

Tom Hanks with American soldiers from Baghdad, via video... who are presenting the Best Documentary - Short Subject…. Now, I have to ask, what the fuck are you doing on TV if you have a war to fight?

I think those soldiers need to come home. Right now.  If they have time for this bullshit, they aren’t needed in Iraq.

Documentary Short

Freeheld - Winner

La Corona (The Crown)

Salim Baba

Sari’s Mother

Then Hanks presents for..

Documentary Feature

No End In Sight

Operation Homecoming: Writing The Wartime Experience

Sicko

Taxi To The Dark Side - Winner

War/Dance

Harrison Ford presents for Best Screenplay, which is won by Diablo Cody for Juno.  I love the fact she was courageous enough to show her ink.    I don't know about the leopard print dress, though.

Helen Mirren presents for Best actor

Actor

George Clooney

Daniel Day-Lewis - Winner

Johnny Depp

Tommy Lee Jones

Viggo Mortenson

Best Picture

Presented by Denzel… Good God, it’s midnight! I have to get up in 4 hours.!!!!!

Juno

Atonement Best Actor

No Country For Old Men - Winner

There Will Be Blood

Michael Clayton

Paul Thomas Anderson - There will be blood

Ethan & Joel Coen - No Country For Old Men - Winner

Tony Gilroy - Michael Clayton

Jason Reitman - Juno

Julian Schnabel - The Living Bell & The Butterfly

Cue the music, big applause.... I gotta go to sleep.

__________________________________________

Wasn't that fun?  I didn't think so.  I think that had to be the dullest Oscar broadcast that I have ever seen!

Jeez!

Man Movies (6)

...And so, dear friends... so ends MAN MOVIE week, here at The View From Here. I hope you have enjoyed the selection of MAN MOVIES... from the sublime to the ridiculous.

Before we completely close the door, your faithful correspondent would be remiss in his MANLY MAN duties, if I left out this little gem.

Pulp Fiction is a MAN MOVIE even before you get to it's rather unusual plot. It earns it's MAN MOVIE status because of it's Seinfeldian nature. Seinfeldian in that it is a movie that is essentially about nothing. Oh, sure, lot's of "nothing" happens in this movie... from the opening scene with Brett (Frank Whaley) and the other young fellows that get terminated with extreme prejudice by Jules (Samuel L. Jackson) and Vincent (John Travolta), all the way beyond the point where Marcellus (Ving Rhames) gets raped by a couple of whacked-out rednecks.

No, this movie is a MAN MOVIE in all aspects... it has great one-liners, LOTS of gunplay, fist fighting, a short chase scene, and good dialogue. This movie also has great music, from the opening credits with classic songs like "Miserlou" from Dick Dale (If you don't know this one, look it up), to the old standard "Jungle Boogie"(1973), by Kool & The Gang

I mentioned the opening scene and the well written dialogue at the very beginning of this post, so I am going to show you an example of what I meant... now, this isn't for the squeamish, so all of you nice ladies, close your ears if you play this...



Ahem. Moving on.

I don't know what else to say about Pulp Fiction... I mean it only had this huge cast... Bruce Willis, and Harvey Keitel were in this movie... Eric Stoltz was in this movie. Uma Thurman was in this movie (and I am an Uma fan, despite the fact that she is so skinny). One of those Arquette chicks was in this movie (I get them confused), That Tim Roth guy... from Rob Roy was in this movie. Saturday Night Live alums Julia Sweeney and Phil Lamarr were in this movie... This movie was so damned good, even Christpoher Walken was in this movie! (and you know that Gunfighter loves some Christopher Walken... he is almost as bad a MoFo as I am!)


So, MAN MOVIE week is over. Sometime in the next month or so, I will continue my list of MAN MOVIES, because there are waaaay too many good ones to stop now.

Until next time,

GF

Posted by Gunfighter at 5:42 PM 5 comments

Man Movies (5)

This 1979 MAN MOVIE certainly needs no review for most men, and certainly for some women, too, but for those who aren't familiar, I'll give you a quick run-down.

Apocalypse Now is almost the ultimate MAN MOVIE. This movie is worthy, not only for it's gonzo level of violence, and not only for it's necessary suspension of disbelief, but because of the fact that the opening sequence is of a napalm strike against a jungle treeline, set to The Doors classic song: The End.

In Apocalypse now, an American officer, Captain Willard (Martin Sheen), who is a CIA operative, is assigned to hunt down a renegade Special Forces Colonel named Kurtz (Marlon Brando) who isn't fighting by the army's rules. Willard is assigned to move up the Nung river in a navy river patrol boat in order to avoid notice... only it doesn't quite work that way.

Shortly after joining up with the patrol boat and it's crew, Willard makes contact with a whack-job of an Air Cavalry officer, Bill Kilgore (Robert Duvall), who practically steals the entire film in only one scene. Kilgore is an avid surfer, and finding out that one of the sailors with Willard is a famous surfer, he decides to attack a village that is close to the ocean, just so he and the sailor can surf. The village is a bit tougher to crack than he expected, so after the initial assault, he calls for an air strike, after which he delivers the most famous piece of dialogue from the movie "I love the smell of napalm in the morning"

This movie is filled with air strikes, people being machine-gunned to death at close range, an attack by tribesmen who use spears as well as bows, pyrotechnic displays, music by The Doors, Jimi Hendrix, and The Rolling Stones, and some really great cinematography.

This film also had great early-career performances by Laurence Fishburne...

...and Harrison Ford.

As if all of this wasn't enough... in the final scene of the movie, there is a film sequence of the ritual killing of a bull... with a machete! The same sort of weapon that Sheen's character uses to kill the Brando character.

This movie will always be a favorite of mine.

GF

Posted by Gunfighter at 11:09 AM 7 comments

Man Movies (4)

Hi kids... sorry to have been out of pocket for the past few days... we have had big drama at work, and lots of activities here at Castle Gunfighter.

All is well, so let's talk a little more about MAN MOVIES!

Today's MAN MOVIE is one that, even to me, is almost TOO gritty. I am talking about Bad Lieutenant, starring Harvey Keitel.

Did any of you ever see this one?

Harvey Keitel plays a corrupt Detective Lieutenant in the New York City police department. His character is a gambler, drug user, and all-around dirty cop.

In the film, Keitel is shown betting on major league sports, getting a... well, sexual favor from a teen aged girl in trade for letting her get away with underage driving, beating and ripping off a small time drug dealer... and it only gets worse from there.

I mentioned that MAN MOVIES aren't about redemption, but Keitel's character does make movement towards redemption in this film... but don't be fooled, that isn't what this movie is about. Keitel's character is a violent, unscrupulous, misogynist, criminal of the worst sort. He is the worst sort of criminal because he does all of these thing while wearing a badge, the symbol of public trust, and servant of the law.

In the end, Keitel ends up how people who live that sort of life usually end up. Dead. Murdered by enforcers for a bookie.

Posted by Gunfighter at 10:44 AM 11 comments

Man Movies (3)

Next on my list of MAN MOVIES are two more recent additions to the long line of movies for men. Neither of these two films (and I hesitate to even call them "films") have any social redeeming value. Neither of them are particularly realistic, and neither of them are particularly well-acted.

Why do they make the list? Because of the gore factor… that’s gore with a lower-case g. An upper case g would mean something else entirely… that Gore makes documentaries. Anyway, both of these movies get to the blood and guts, right from the jump, so let’s talk about them: Today’s MAN MOVIES are Shoot ‘Em Up, and The Three Hundred.


The Three Hundred

The Three Hundred has a fairly simple plot. Leonidas, The King of the Greek City-State of Sparta, played by the exceptionally chiseled Scotsman Gerard Butler has been delivered an ultimatum from Xerxes, King of Persia, to bend the knee and pay tribute, or pay the price of refusal in the destruction of his people. 

Well, as you can imagine, this threat doesn’t go down well with the Spartan King… I mean, c’mon! Sparta is a warrior nation! You wouldn’t expect a society whose whole raison d’etre (hey, that’s French!) is to produce the best-trained, strongest, toughest soldiers there are, to take threat lying down, would you? Of course not. So, what does our King of Sparta do? Why, he kills the messenger, of course!

The King is overruled by members of his council, who will not authorize a war. So he gathers 300 of Sparta’s best, and personally leads them into battle against the Persian hordes.

The Spartans hold a choke point against the Persian Army, and commence slaughtering them by the hundreds… and thousands. Remember, this takes place before the time of Christ, so the weapons used here, as you can imagine, are the sword, spear, knife, bow, and or some sort of bludgeoning device. Almost all of the violence takes place at personal distance, with lots of spraying blood, decapitations, traumatic amputations and the like.

By the end of the movie, all of the three hundred are dead, except for one, who went back to Sparta to bring the rest of the army. If the Persians thought 300 Spartans were tough to deal with, they were really going to take it in the shorts from the rest of the Spartan nation.

The movie was a glorious exercise in blood-letting.



Shoot 'Em Up

OK, get real, here... with a title like that, how can a guy named Gunfighter not love this movie?

In this flick, a carrot-eating man-of-few-words named Smith (well-played by Clive Owen), rescues a newborn child and kills everyone who gets in his way. That's it. That's the plot. The first gunfight happens within 90 seconds of the beginning of the film.

The action improbable, and unrealistic, but it sure is fun... and even funny at times. The principle bad guy is played (excellently) by Paul Giamatti, that sterling actor who plays in just about every other movie.


If the fact that this movie is full of car chases, high speed stunts, and even gunfights-while-free fall-parachuting, isn't enough for you, don't worry... there's more!





In my initial discussion about what makes a MAN MOVIE, I mentioned gratuitous nudity... well this movie has that, too. You see, our hero has some sort of history of consorting with practitioners of the oldest profession... one in particular one that specializes in adult wet nursing (yeah, I know... but I suppose that if there weren't a real market for it, they wouldn't sell it. Ewww!).

So, the hero enlists the aforementioned pro to help him care for the kid while he kills bad guys. During one VERY brief break in the carnage, our hero and our who... um, wet nursing friend, find the time for a little physical bonding, which goes well enough until the bad guys show up. Oh, yeah... can you REALLY get any better than this? Hell no!, because our hero never misses a beat and proceeds to shoot and kill more bad guys while continuing to do the deed!

I can't even begin to give you a body count for this movie, but I don't think you can beat it for it's MAN MOVIE qualities.

Posted by Gunfighter at 5:23 PM 10 comments

Man Movies (2)

Movies made for men (no, not those kinds of movies).

I wrote about this in January of last year, but I got busy, and other things came up, and we didn't really get to delve too deeply into the subject. Well, this week, I plan to correct that.

The kind of movies that I am talking about are full of fights, explosions, guns, explosions, high-speed car chases, sophomoric humor... and guns. Throw in some sports hard-hitting sports action, and perhaps a bit of gratuitous frontal nudity, and you've pretty much got it made.

Oh, I know that many of the people reading this are women,and that some women may like some of these movies, too, but that doesn't really matter. These movies were made for men, but if our wives, girlfriends, lifepartners or whatever want to enjoy them with us, so much the better!

The truth is, MAN MOVIES are not about love interests. They aren't romance movies with guns. They aren't romantic comedies. They aren't feel-good movies about connecting with children... or saving whales, or any of that stuff****. MAN MOVIES are NOT about redemption.

***NOTE*** None of the above suggests that men can't enjoy those movies... but they aren't MAN MOVIES.

For example, here is a movie that men enjoy... but aren't MAN MOVIES: Wedding Crashers... I loved it! It was funny, it was basically a continuous sketch comedy... but Owen Wilson's falling in love with the pretty girl... renouncing his ways as a crasher... sorting out his feelings of luuuuuv, make this a good movie, but NOT a MAN MOVIE.

See where I am going here?

We can talk about this through the week, and as so many of my readers are women. Strong, smart, independent women... I know that many of you will disagree with some of my conclusions... and that's OK, I'm ok with backing up what I write.

Here is how this week is going to play out. I will be reviewing several MAN MOVIES over the next 5 days... I will give a brief synopsis, and then tell you why it made my list. Then, if we need to, we can battle it out (JANET) about why certain movies are on the list, even though some of you may disagree. Please note that my list isn't meant to be definitive or exclusive, in that there will be MAN MOVIES that exist that don't make it this week.

Let's gets started, shall we?

Slapshot:

This 1977 Paul Newman classic remains one of the funniest movies that I have ever seen.

It is the tale of a down-at-heel minor league hockey team, The Charlestown Chiefs, in the fictitious "Federal League". The Chiefs are a franchise that is about to fold (to be disbanded as an entity). The team's player/coach, Reggie Dunlop, played by Newman, in what I honestly believe will be the role he will be best remembered fior... at least by most men who aren't gay, generates interest (and drives up revenue) for the team by instigating extreme violence during the games.

Once the team starts fighting, people start attending the games, and all of a sudden there is new life to the Charlestown Chiefs.  The Chiefs become local heroes, which leads to the creation  a travelling fan club.  This fan club, we must be reminded, is mostly made up of frequently topless (and bottomless?) bimbos  (remember what I said about these movies not being about redemption).

The team's biggest draw is a trio of very young brothers... The Hanson's (no, not those kids who sang "Mmm-bop") who turn out to be among the most hard-fighting "goons" in the league.

Basically, this movie is about hockey fighting and sex. The fact that it was filmed in the late 1970's, when violence in the National Hockey League got so out of hand, the game had so many new rules as to change it from the hard-hittng North American game that many had come to love, into a slightly more rough and tumble version of the European style of hockey.

This movie has absolutely no social redeeming value, but will nonetheless be remembered as a classic.

Ask any man between the ages of 40 and 55 about this movie, and the first thing he is likely to do is smile... or maybe laugh out loud.

In any event, it was a great movie for 13 year old Gunfighter when it came out, and it remains very high on my list of MAN MOVIES.

Posted by Gunfighter at 1:27 PM 7 comments

The Polar Express

A week or so ago, I mentioned our new family tradition of going to see The Polar Express the day/night before Christmas eve (the day I refer to as Christmas Eve eve. Well this past Sunday was our night!

We had spent a long morning at the church getting the kids ready for the Christmas presentation (I'll blog about that tomorrow), and by the time it was done, we were ready to go have lunch before heading home. While we were having our lunch, I remembered that it was Polar Express night, and so informed Mrs. Gunfighter, who, like me, had momentarily forgotten about it. I looked at my watch and it was 1p.m., and our ticket time for the movie was at eight. No worries... plenty of time, right? We went home and had a little down time before our planned departure time.

We figured that we would leave at about 4, allowing for traffic (unpredictable at best), time for dinner, some time to browse through the exhibits (soccergirl loves that museum), and the museum shops before the movie. Great.

We left on time, and traffic, which had been horrific on Saturday, was nearly non-existent on Sunday (go figure)! We parked right in front of the museum (literally) and went inside. "This is going to be great!", I thought to myself

As we went up to the doors on the Constitution avenue side of the building, we noticed that people were streaming out of the museum! This was a bad sign. After entering, Mrs GF suggested that we go eat first... and we found that the Atrium Cafe was closed! Bummer... OK, let's go and ask one of the guards what time the place was closing... 5:30 according to the guard. Five thirty? They were open later than that last year! (and then I remembered that it was SUNDAY!), ok, let's go to the other cafe to eat.... we got there, through the mammal exhibit, and it was packed!

**NOTE: I never thought of Washington, DC as a tourist destination at this time of year... but this particular museum was packed with visitors form the Indian subcontinent, and China!**

We squeezed our way through, and got a bite to eat... to the tune of $40 (yeah you heard me), and ate it standing up.

I was not amused.

Once finished, we went to the Imax and changed our tickets so that we could go to the show starting at 6, instead of sitting around until 8.

We got our tickets switched, spent some time in the museum shops, and headed for the theater... and that's when things got REALLY.... good. Uh huh, that's right, things got good.

Have you ever seen the Polar Express? If you haven't, you should give it a try... you'll really like it. The story is interesting, and the visuals are very nice. Take nice visuals, a great score, good voice characterizations (Tom Hanks does several of the characters) and combine them with a 60' by 33' (or something) screen, 3-D production, and an incredible audio system, and you have a really spectacular 90 minutes.

By the time the movie was over, my grumpiness had disappeared (what? you didn't think I could be grumpy?). I was once again full of Christmas spirit (which is rather easy for a jolly fat man like me). We went home happy, and had some quiet time together before SG went to bed.

It was a really pleasant evening.

If you live in the DC area, or if you have an Imax thater nearby that presents this film (especially in 3-D) I recommend that you take the time to see it. You'll love it... and so will your kids.

Cheers,

GF

This article is (or soon will be) cross-posted at DC Metro Moms