Greetings from St Simons Island Georgia. It is a beautiful evening after a beautiful day. We are seriously relaxing already, but I thought I would take a moment to share something with you.
Like many of you, I have been watching a lot of Olympic coverage since last Friday. From the incredibly tedious opening to the games, to the on-camera freak-out of Bela Karoli when Nastia "Nasty Girl" Liukin and Shawn Johnson won the gold & silver in the All-Around gymnastic competition last night.
I have to tell you... I love the Olympics. I really do, but I can't find it in my heart to love all of the sports in the Olympics. One "sport" in particular really bugs me, and it's Beach Volleyball.
C'mon! Beach Volleyball? An Olympic sport?
Look, You know that I'm no prude. You know that I am as enamored of feminine pulchritude as any red-blooded, randy, American man... but I have to tell you: I think that beach volleyball has no business in the Olympic games.
Sorry fans of the game..., but there it is. I think that beach volleyball is frivolous and really stupid and certainly not serious enough to share broadcast dominance over the past week.
I don't fool myself as to why beach volleyball is not only included in the Olympic games, but featured so prominently in prime time. It's this:
...as well as this:
...and especially this:
Yes, I know that extremely fit young athletes are nice to look at. Yes, I know that he Olympics has to make money and therefore sell advertising time, but come on. Beach Volleyball?
I id a little research about this today, and I was disappointed to hear that the reason that some female beach volleyballers believe that the micro bikini is necessary in order to keep sand out of their suits.
Not being a chick, I hadn't thought about that. It sounds reasonable... that is, until you take notice of the fact that male beach volleyballers don't wear Speedos for the same reason.
The IOC can do better than this.
When I am King, the following sports will be eliminated:
Synchronized diving (again... be serious, please)
Ping Pong... Oh. sorry. I mean Table Tennis
AMENDMENTS: Speedwalking, Badminton, and Trampoline will also be eliminated.
Sorry if any of your favorite sports are on the list... you'll have to console yourself with the fact that there will be at least one new medal sport taking their place:
Yes, you heard me... when I am King, "The Game They Play in Heaven", will be a medal sport.
A medal sport in both summer AND winter games.
Any KOGFOC (Kingdom of Gunfighter Olympic Committee) member that doesn't comply, will be.... retired. Retired with with extreme prejudice.
As I mentioned earlier, and as you saw yesterday, there will be quite a few guest posters here while I am gone, but I'll still be around from time to time on while I am away, but in the mean time, I have lot's of this: