Gunfighter: A Modern Warrior's Life: Shoot 'Em Up Friday: Therapy Edition

May 16, 2008

Shoot 'Em Up Friday: Therapy Edition

Have you ever thought to yourself that you would like to commit an act of violence? Do you ever think that just once, it would be nice to really let go and hit, punch, kick or smash something?

Of course you have.

We're humans... and most of you are Americans, and as such, we are violent. No, not in a criminal way (for most of us) but we are from a violent country, that has a violent culture... a country born out of violent acts. We like things getting smashed, don't we? That's why our television shows and sporting events are so full of physical force and violence.

Well, I'm not giving a lecture on violence today other than to say that I, like you, want to act out, physically, from time to time. Lucky me... I get to actually make good on my feelings.

Here is where you come in.

You have a cel phone (a Mobile for you Brits, Ozzies, Kiwis, & South Africans), right? Odds are, you have had several in the past few years. Odds are that at some point since you started using cellular telephones, these little gems of convenience have pissed you off some way or another.

For my part, I have had many cellular phones, and the usually irritate the crap out of me. So, I have decided to take matters in hand, and deal with my anger, frustration, and irritation with these modern marvels of communication. Not because I am angry mind you, but because YOU are angry. That's right, I am doing this for your therapy, Gentle reader. Why? Because I care about you. Yeah.

Here are two likely candidates. Both of these phones have been sitting around for some time. Of no further use to me, I have decided that since I won't be using them to talk anymore, I should make one last use of them as blog fodder.

The phone on the left was one of the first cel phones that I ever had. The second was one of those God-awful Nextel phones... you know them, right? they are the ones with the "direct-Connect" walkie-talkie feature? Well, I really hated those things... here in the DC area, they lose calls all of the times... especially if you are driving anywhere near The Pentagon.

So. I decided it was time for these telephones to make their last calls.

Many of you already know that when I do a Shoot 'em Up Friday post, I tend to use shotguns or rifles, but today, the firearm of choice is the Sig-Sauer Model P-229 in caliber .357... this was mainly because there is no real point in shooting a cel phone with a shotgun. I mean, you'll just make a mess of perfectly good traffic cones, right?

There wasn't a lot of ritual involved in today's exercise (well, yesterday's to tell you the truth. I blasted these phones around 6 A.M. on Thursday, but you get the picture right? Hey. "Get The Picture?!" Funny, right?), so I got them set up on their cones and gave them the business.

Each phone only took one bullet. As you can see, your cel phone isn't going to go very far in saving your life should it come between you and incoming fore, so be warned! The next time some late-night infomercial tries to convince you to purchase some new-fangled body armor made out of old cel phones... Don't Do It!

Ahem. The first picture in this post are my phones... This is my phones on .357 hollow-points.

Any questions?

There. Don't you feel better now? I do. So, the next time your phone bothers you, don't swear at it. don't throw it across the room. Let ME have it, and I'll get your revenge for you, because I'm a giver... and that's what friends do. Yeah!

I hope you enjoyed Shoot 'Em Up Friday, and I hope that you enjoy your weekend.

Posted at 06:26 AM in Shoot 'Em Up Friday | Permalink