Girl Scout Night

I wrote this about a month ago. I had forgotten all about it until I sat down at my laptop at the dining room table shortly before 5 this morning. I really wish I was still asleep… and today is my day to take SG to school, so I could have slept until the lordly hour of 0615. As it turns out, I have been awake since 0345. Where is the justice in this world? I ask you?  So, here I sit on a(nother) rainy Virginia morning, telling you things about my life that you probably don't want to hear... but I am in a sharing mood today, brethren, and that's what friends do.  So listen.

 

It’s Brownie night… but only sort of. You see, instead of taking SG over to the church for their meeting, and nipping off to Borders to type and observe…. And instead of getting to meet one of my favorite bloggers, who is in DC for business, I am at one of the local middle schools with SG and three other Brownies from her troop who are attending their first Junior troop meeting.

You see, SG and ten other girls from her troop will be aging out of Brownies into Junior Girls Scouts in the fall, and this meeting is to give them the opportunity meet their new Troop-mates.

I was assigned to be their “chaperone” and take them to their meeting, and introduce them to the troop leader, and stick around in case they were shy, or nervous and needed a familiar adult face. Do you think that’s how it went? If you said: “Oh, hell no, GF!” you’d be right. Since this troop is fed by the same school that feeds SG’s Brownie troop, all four of the girls saw friends of theirs right away, and went scrambling to pal around with them, forgetting good ol’ Gunfighter immediately. Well, I’m man enough to handle that, so I went and introduced myself to S, who is the leader for this troop. I told S I was going to stay for the whole meeting, and would help in any way that I could… How do think THAT went?  If you said: “She (and the other troop mommies) gave you a blank, open-mouthed stare and said that you could just leave if you wanted to”, you’d be right.

Well, there is only so much rejection a man is supposed to take before he gets irritated and has to take active measures to stand up for himself. So that's exactly what I did.  In case you were thinking that I made a scene, be assured, I didn't... I dislike drama.  No, I did what people do when they are made these days, and don't shoot people because of it:  I went out into the hallway, found an electrical outlet, whipped out my laptop, and started to blog!

Pardon me for a moment while I fume… Someone help me out here…. Women complain that men aren’t doing enough of the parenting… we aren’t doing our share, and blah blah f***ing blah, ad nauseum, but I think that it’s all a front. I really do. Oh, I’m not saying that there aren’t men who aren’t pulling their weight in that department, I’m simply saying that I believe that there are many women who covet their roles as “gatekeepers”… controlling access and participation in their children’s lives.

Is it that far-fetched that a father would attend his daughter’s Girl Scout meeting and help out? Is it, really? For the love of merciful God… A woman is running for president, a black man is her rival for her party’s nomination, and at least their party isn’t blinking an eye over it, but if a Dad wants to help out at the girl scout meeting, I might as well have been a space alien for all the gaping stares.

Well guess what? Children need their father’s EVERY BIT AS MUCH AS THEY NEED THEIR MOTHERS! That’s right ladies, read that a second time, if it didn’t scratch the surface the first time. Finished? Good. Read it again, just to make sure. Who else is going to teach your daughters what a good, decent man is like? Who else is going to teach your sons how to be good men?

Alright... I'm done for now.

GF

Comments

[Mrs. GF]

"I dislike drama." Discuss...

[Gunfighter]

What's to dicsuss? I dislike making scenes... not that it would keep me from making one if I saw a pressing need.

[Catty Gramma Teri]

So SG is going to be a JGS? Cool!
I think brownie nights should always include brownies.

You are totally right to be miffed. And right about every point you made. I'm more of a force-my-way-in type of gal. Yeah, I hate drama, too. (And also, I will make a scene if I see a pressing need.) But no one intimidates me out of a situation I feel I belong in. So I just sort of settle in, amidst the gaping stares and make myself useful. Or not.

But going out into the hall and plugging in and blogging is a cool option, too.

Fact is, women may complain, but once they've gotten used to not having men around, they kinda don't want them coming in and changing things. So... you have to remind them that... well just like you said ~ they need men in their lives just as much as they need women.

[Jen of a2eatwrite]

I think it's part of the Scouting culture. I got the same kind of crap when I volunteered to help with paperwork for my son's troop because the dad in charge was probably very, very ADD, and nothing was getting done. And the man WANTED help. But when I was given my first assignment, the leader decided I didn't do it right and didn't find things out the right way, and yelled at me and shook his finger in my face in front of all the other adult volunteers and the troop. Nice, huh? Well, the next day, the LAWYER for the troop said he'd double-checked everything I'd done and I'd done it perfectly. He wrote an e-mail to the whole troop, but MAN, talk about humiliating. And the leader never apologized. So... um... that was the end of my volunteering with that troop.

And you know what? Screw what society wants. The main thing is that SG knows that you're there for her. Consistently. THAT'S what matters in the big picture.

[Chris]

I feel you dude! It's good that you didn't make a scene. You set a great example there.

I dislike drama as well. Like my students always say, "save your drama for your mama."

[amy]

You are absolutely right of course but the sad fact of the matter is, you probably are more of the exception than the norm when it comes to Dad's being involved with kids extra curricular activities. Truth be told though, I bet in many circles Moms get the same reaction when showing up to Boy Scout's stuff, where traditionally the troop leaders are guys and more often it is the Dad's that participate.

Also sad is that with single parent homes it is far more common for the full time parent to be the Mom than the Dad.

And yeah - us Moms need to stop being surprised when Dads do want to participate or take the lead and gracefully let them do so without interferring or trying to make Dad do it the same way Mom does.(see I am guilty - I almost typed "allow them to do so") - Dads, you most DEFINITELY do not need Mom's permission - and Moms, we need to get this into our heads and take a step back.

[Soccer Mom in Denial]

I was a Brownie troop leader in New Orleans with 45 girls. Alone with 45 girls. I could only dream of the mothers being involved. Never mind the daddies.

The guys missed their moving on up ceremony this evening from Cub Scout to Wolverine or whatever is next. They had their first ever little league game. And Amazing Guy is the only dad involved in Cub Scouts. No joke.

So good for you for being involved. And stick with it.

[Kelly@SHE-POWER]

I have no experience with brownies other than the yummy kind I gobble with a cup of tea, but you are right GF, lots of women do need the identity of being the gatekeeper.

My theory is it's because too many women wrap themselves up in their kids lives and don't put enough effort into their own, so of course they need to be the perfect on top of everything mom. If that's all you've got then you'll guard your post with a bazooka.

I don't have girls, but I know my son needs his dad and not just to play ball with. He needs to see that daddy treats mom well, that daddy can cook and take care of things, and be there when he's needed and BE INTERESTED.

I know too many families who have this weird allocation of roles where dad takes the kids out for ice-cream or the like and all the other work - the parenting - gets done by mom. The women and the men both perpetuate this - the men by being slack asses and copping out on having a real impact on their children's lives, and the women by being passive aggressive whingers. I just don't get how this is best for anyone in the family. Anyway, enough of my rant.

Cool blog nd thanks for stopping by SHE-POWER. How did you find me?

Kelly

PS. You're a legend for taking the brownies to meet their new troop leader. Don't let those women scare you off. Girls do so much better when we know daddy is there for us. Especially when those god awful teenage years come.

[BOSSY]

Bossy heard "Brownie" and she got all worked up. Her sweet tooth is *that* substantial.

(Nice to meet you.)